Lu Yuzhen entered the study and furiously swept all documents from the table onto the floor. He took off his tie and flung it on the rug before throwing himself onto the sofa. He was emanating an overwhelming kind of aggressive gloom as he leaned on the sofa lazily.
He closed his eyes and opened them again; they were still bloodshot. What is she doing now? Will she be crying? I’m such a jerk, a complete jerk! Please forget me, Micheng.
Lu Yuzhen sensed that his mental condition was unwell right now. He sensed the symptoms of a relapse, and his firm chest was heaving up and down scarily like the movements of a beast. His body felt uncomfortable, and his mind was filled with the image of Xia Micheng in her champagne-colored nightdress. He wanted to turn back, pin her onto the bed and crush her so that he wouldn’t feel as horrible as he was now.
The turmoil had made him drenched in sweat. He was fearful of his impulse to hurt her whenever he relapsed. Just when he felt that he was going out of control, he managed to stand up and open a drawer for his sleeping pills. He opened the bottle cap and subsequently swallowed three pills.
After taking these pills, I won’t have the urge to find her. She will not be bothered by me. Let it be, let her go and let her resent me.