Chapter 52

• We walk in silence for a while but I don't really care, mostly just because I don't really know what to say. It feels normal; just holding hands and walking down the street. I know as soon as we actually start to talk about 'this', things won't be as nice. It was out of line of him to just show up at my work, even though I know deep down I was really hoping I would see him today. My head and my heart keep clashing when it comes to the subject of Rhodes, it's so hard to think straight when he smiles at me and tells me what I want to hear. Even if I feel deep down that it's all just a game, a ruse to make me feel like I should change to be what he wants me to be.
• "Buy anything at the auction last night?" I ask him eventually as we turn the corner, the park now in sight. I look up at him as he nods his head.
• "Yeah I did, I was feeling charitable" I grin softly, like he needs an excuse to spend money. "I wish you had stayed" his tone becomes a little more serious, but there is still a softness there. Maybe I should have stayed, maybe I've been making too big of a deal out of all of this? No I haven't, and I can't keep making excuses to make it all okay.