Chapter 180

• Confronting one of the main issues that's held me back, allowing myself to feel loved. Maybe I'll be able to tell him about it. Mum continues on.
• "Ah yes that's it, lovely singer that girl. Anyway, that's what needed to happen for your father and I. I loved him more than life itself, and then we had you and I felt like I had everything. We were in this perfect little bubble, but bubbles pop. And instead of becoming stronger I fell apart, and left you to pick up the pieces. I should have taken the sadness and turned it into something good. I should have forged my own identity, become a stronger and wiser person. But I was swallowed by the grief and the sadness" She talks so openly and candidly, like she never has before.
• Wow, therapy really has worked wonders. She hasn't talked about my dad in years with this much calmness and peace. The mere mention of him used to either send her into sobbing hysterics or result in a deep depression that would last days on end. I remember trying to feed her one dinner time while she was in such an episode, the food kept falling out of her mouth as she stared blankly past me at the wall when I left a birthday card he gave me on the table. That night I burnt it in the fireplace, I couldn't risk her finding it again and heading down that dark path again.