Chapter 328

• Frank shuts his eyes, his tears now streaming down his face in rapid succession as he turns his head down to face his lap. In the corner of my eye, I can see Rhode 's hand lift up to wipe the corner of his eyes.
• "I needed you. I needed a dad. And you decided that you didn't and you left. You just left me behind" I continue. This opportunity to pour myself out to this man giving way to a side of myself I had locked away for so long. These feelings that I've needed to explore, to grieve, all unable to stop themselves from escaping the small box I've kept them in. He finally lifts his head back up, not to speak, but to show me that he's listening.
• "You have no idea what it's like believing that one day everyone you love is just going to leave you. Without warning, without explanation, without a goodbye, without anything. That someone is going to make you think that they love you and that they care for you and one day they're just going to get so sick of you that they'll just leave" I cry softly as I speak. My greatest fears have stemmed from this man leaving in the middle of the night 8 years ago. For the first few months of our relationship I would wake up and think 'is today the day that Rhode decides I'm not worth all of this shit?'. If only I could tell her now that he would still be here holding my hand, supporting me through the most brutal experience of exposure I've ever had.