Chapter 178

• I always used to dread going up to see mum for a lot of reasons. I never used to know if she was having a good day or a bad day, if I was going to visit the mum I know and love or if I would be getting a complete stranger who despised me. There have been times when I've sat on the train riding back into London, crying quietly to myself after hearing her angry words. I've never known her to be an angry woman, but there were times that she lashed out at me when I've come to see her.
• But I'm choosing to be positive this time around. Her medication has been working really well for her for the last few months, the reports about her progress that the doctors have sent me are all very positive, and the last time I saw her she was looking like the mum I used to know. Maybe this is a new start for her and I, a new start where I can finally talk to her about all the things that have been bothering me for almost a decade.
• I round the corner and come face to face with a large white building with a cottage built front just up the path from a supremely well kept garden. I suddenly remember bringing my mum here nearly 4 years ago, maybe a couple of coats of paint being the only difference between then and now. I take a deep breath as I walk into the sliding glass doors and walks towards the office to check in as a visitor.