Chapter 134

• Why am I even thinking about that kind of stuff? I'm barely even in my 20's and I've known this guy for like six months. For some reason, everything to do with him feels like it's moving at a thoUK nd miles an hour. I've fallen hard for him, hard and fast; but we are so up and down, I have the emotional bruises to prove it. I can't even fathom where we are going to be next month versus next year. I mean fuck, I barely even know for myself if I want any of that sort of thing; marriage and babies and whatnot. Sometimes I feel like such a drastically different person that I'm not sure if I would recognise myself in a police line up.
• I blame him completely, it's totally his fault for making me fall for him. His uncharacteristically sweet words, his big gestures, the care that he shows; it's all his fault. And now here I am, wondering if a twinkle in his eye means he wants to make babies and hoping he wants to make them with me. God, I am a fool.
• A large round of applause brings me back down to earth. The MC for the evening has told us that the band will start back up in a few minutes, advising us to enjoy our evening. I look back up at Rhodes to find him already looking down at me, a soft but mischievous grin crossing his full lips.