Chapter 413

• Mitch was home to see his family and I was spending my birthday with my family. He popped over to give me my present and we had a catch up. We went to the backyard and had a beer even though it was fucking freezing and I told him everything; Amelia walking out, the letter, how she hadn't answered a single call, all of it. Mum and Bianca had spent the last few days telling me to keep hope alive, that things were going to be just fine and that she would come back to me. But Mitch didn't do that, he just told me how much that sucked and that he was sorry that it happened. And it broke me, it fucking broke me, I cried like a little bitch.
• I really thought she would have called on my birthday, or at least not ignored me. I missed her so much, I wanted her back so badly. And while I appreciated what mum and Bianca were doing, trying to get me to think positively and all that, I just wanted to talk about how much it fucking sucked that it was all happening. We talked for hours and it felt like a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders in that time. It was cathartic and therapeutic in a way, and it's what got me through the next few weeks until Amelia showed up drunk on my doorstep. When I called Mitch to let him know that Amelia and I were back on, he was fucking thrilled for me and also relieved, I think everyone was relieved when Amelia came back.
• "I remember the feeling. And it's going to be so much worse this time." I lament with a sigh. I can't imagine how it could feel worse but I know it will. The way I feel about her now can't even be compared to how I felt about her back then. Of course I was in love with Amelia back then, but it's all so much bigger than that now. We've been planning a future together, and acting upon it too, it's all just so much deeper now.