Chapter 427

• I parked the bike in my apartment building’s parking lot and went upstairs to my apartment. I didn’t even bother to switch the lights on as I took the bloodied clothes off and stepped into the shower. I stood under the scalding water and scrubbed everything off me.
• I sat down on the edge of my bed and for the first time in my life, I cried. I cried out the guilt of Robert’s suicide because I might as well have killed him myself. I hadn’t felt bad when I killed Lydia, only afterward when Robert found her, did it hit me. His pain had become my pain.
• Robert Gold had been my friend for ten years and even though most of what he knew about me had been a lie, we’d still been friends. We had spent real time together and I couldn’t be sure that my reaction was due to me never having suffered a personal loss or if I was losing my edge.