Chapter 118

• Lexi’s POV
• Laying in the bathtub I have nothing but the quiet and my thoughts to keep me company. ‘I can’t believe that it has been two months since Luca has changed for the better. He is an awesome husband and father now. I still haven’t been able to tell him about the surprise pregnancy yet. Every time I get up the courage, Luca will make some kind of comment About how we don’t need any more kids, or that he is glad that he came to his senses about having another child. When he spouts off remarks like that any so-called bravery that I thought I mustard up gets deflated. It’s pathetic really, because it is the inevitable that he will find out sooner or later. I guess a big part of keeping my mouth shut is because I am so afraid that he will get mad and accuse me of keeping things from him. Which I guess in a way I really am. I didn’t start off trying to hide this pregnancy from him, but over time it has escalated to a huge ordeal that is weighing down on me. Today is the last chance I will get to come clean to him. The appointment he set up for me is tomorrow morning to have my tubes tied. I just need to decide how I can break this to him. Don’t get me wrong I am all for not having any more babies after this one pops out. I will be more than happy to get my tubes tied. But the fact still remains that I can’t have that surgery tomorrow, because no matter what there is no way I could ever get rid of one of my children. So having an abortion is off the table. I haven’t even told mom about this pregnancy. I’ve had to carry the weight of the guilt that I am feeling all on my own, and I hate it.’
• I sit up in the tub and stare at my reflection, and begin giving myself a peep talk. ‘Ok I can do this when Luca comes home tonight, I am going to be honest and open about everything. This won’t change nothing between us. I just need to look right at him, and say Luca I’m pregnant.’ I catch a glimpse of movement coming out of the corner of my eye. I spin around and face towards the door trying to get another peek. Luca comes waltzing in looking fine as hell. Shit my damn hormones have been all over the chart here lately. It seems like every time Luca is around me all I want to do is jump his bones. Which I usually do. The sex has been amazing. He is still the dominant man that I married. Who likes to spank me. And I’m still the needy wife who loves to be spanked.