Chapter 107

• Haven sat on the edge of his bed, eyes settled on the wrinkled divorce papers that lay strewn over the pillow. His breathing was shallow, uneven, and his hands trembled marginally as he picked up a write from the nightstand. The divorce settlement was the ultimate nail in the coffin of a marriage that had as of now passed on long before. He rubbed his chin, his mind dashing, but not with outrage any longer. No, the outrage had broken up into something else, something much heavier. Blame? Lament? He couldn't place it, but it was there, biting at him, requesting to be recognized. The toll was unmistakable. His thoughts flashed to Matthew, just a long time friend and as of now more astute than he’d ever needed him to be. He had detected the pressure in the house long before Haven and Alexis had indeed talked about the word ‘divorce. He had taken to remaining in his space more, calming his once uproarious and perky soul.
• The weight of his and Alexis’s severity had leaked into their social life like a concealed poison. Haven’s chest was fixed. Was it truly worth it? The lawyers, the distractions, the quiet fights? He tossed the letter down, running both hands over his face. He had gone through months trying to outmaneuver Alexis, trying to ensure he didn’t come out the washout.
• But in the moment, he realized, they had both lost far more than they could have expected. He looked at his phone on the table, Alexis’s number still saved there, in spite of the fact that he hadn’t called her in weeks. There had been times when he had floated over the dial button, nearly ready to bridge the hole, to apologise, to confess.