Chapter 18

• We closed school and Ray and I met as usual. He saw the tension in me but insisted that it would all be good for us. He said that he had moved to Nairobi and gotten a job as a tout. He was living with some of his friends to save his income. He assured me that he would save enough for me and the baby. He kissed me passionately with the same passion as he had always done. He caressed my body and I felt at peace. It was a kind of peace that I had not felt since I learnt the news of my pregnancy. Ray’s determination had made me worry less. I didn’t talk much to him, but I congratulated him for his new job.
• He continued kissing me and caressing my body. I would touch him a bit and then sink into deep thoughts. He finally made love to me as I lay there, with very little movement. He held me tight and tried comforting me. He kissed me more and more, speaking encouraging words to my ears. He made love to me for a second time and this time I felt more at ease. He said he wanted us to enjoy ourselves as we had done previously. It was becoming hard for me to satisfy him at this time. He could see it in my eyes, the worry and the pain of not being able to satisfy my man. He was patient with me.
• Finally, we caressed and I made crazy love to him. I saw the excitement in his eyes. The excitement he always gave after having good sex. I was happy that even at our lowest moment we still managed to make sweet love.