Chapter 1

• I wore a red dress. I loved this dress because it was my 12th birthday gift from my dad. He had requested to take us out for lunch. What better way would I have appreciated him than to wear a dress which he had bought me. I rushed to my kid sister’s room to get her ready. Anita was the youngest in the family. She was around 8 at this time. I combed her hair and tied it in a pussy-cat. She too was wearing a dress bought by our father. We were all in the mood of appreciating him. Greg was in the sitting room with dad. The men in the house always got ready before us. Greg was 10 years old by then. “Steph!” my father called. I rushed to the sitting room and found him and Greg. “Go see what is taking your mum too long.” I went and knocked at mum’s bedroom. She requested me to come in and sit with her. She looked sad. I had never seen her that sad before. I wanted to know what was going on. “Did you and dad have a misunderstanding last night” I asked. She nodded and said no.
• She explained that she was getting worried by my dad’s weird behavior. He had started talking of death. She couldn’t understand where it was coming from. She told me that dad had been telling her where he would like to be buried. He was also telling her that she had to be strong when he leaves to take good care of us. I told her to calm down. I knew dad was a jovial person and always had a way to make anything sound funny. Maybe this was one of his games to make mum worry. We sat there as I tried to console her. I told her that dad could not leave us. He was a healthy man all his life. A twelve year old girl always thought that diseases were the only cause of death, or old age.
• Greg came in later and told us that dad was getting impatient with us.
• We joined him and Anita and left the house. I sat at the front with dad. I loved watching him drive. Mum, Greg and Anita sat at the back. We were listening to cool gospel music. It made us feel relaxed. We parked at the parking and dad led us into the restaurant. There was a special table for us. It read ‘RESERVED FOR WAIGWA’S FAMILY’. It was a beautiful restaurant with beautiful draping and floral arrangements. The waiters and waitresses were dressed in uniforms, white and red in color. One of them
• came and introduced himself and welcomed us. His name was Jack. He brought us fruit juice and told us that our meal would be ready in no time. Dad had made a prior arrangement with them concerning our meal.
• “This is where I met your mum” dad told us. Mum had been working there as a waitress when she was young. Dad had visited the hotel with his friends. He was drawn by mum’s beauty and decided to ask her out. It was in this hotel that mum agreed to be dad’s girlfriend. He told us that anytime they had a disagreement, they would go to this hotel and talk their issues out and later share a meal. Dad wanted us to be part of their celebration on that day. He told us that it was the day they celebrated the start of their relationship. Mum and dad laughed as they teased one another. They were so much in love. Even after all these years they still looked as if they were courting.
• Anita was getting restless. She was too young to understand all that mum and dad were trying to tell us. She ran off to join other kids who were playing. Greg joined her. I was left with mum and dad and continued listening to them as they teased and talked about their youthful days. Jack came back to the table and asked us to wash our hands. Mum went to get Greg and Anita. I was left there with dad, who started talking about him departure. He said that he was going to die. He told me to continue working hard in school and to support mum as she provides for us. I could not understand all this. “I will be leaving you soon, my daughter. Your mother will struggle to feed and school you. I want you to always help her look after your brother and sister. Obey her and teach the kids the values I have taught you” he said, his eyes filled with grief. Why did he say that he would leave us? They seemed so much in love a while ago as they narrated their love story to us. I did not want him to leave. I wanted him to be part of this beautiful family. I wanted him to be there as I ran from school and share with him the good news of my good performance in school. I wanted to see him and mum, tease each other in the kitchen as he helped her make us dinner. I wanted to see him and Greg argue over football matches. I wanted to see him carrying Anita up his shoulders. I wanted him to be there to assist me in my daily school work.
• Mum came back with Greg and Anita. We ate silently. Mum had taught us table manners. When we were done, mum went to swim. Greg and
• Anita joined the other children to play. I was left with dad. This time he didn’t speak much. He seemed very worried and thoughtful. I was wishing for us to have father-daughter talk. I had been dad’s favorite. I didn’t know if it was because I was the eldest, thus reasoning better that Greg and Anita, or it was because we had spent most of our time together. I sat there without hearing a word from him. Then I decided to ask him why he said he was leaving. He said he would die soon. I could not understand why he would say that. He looked very healthy. I begged him to stop talking about death, but he said that it was beyond our control. I sat there with him, holding his hands without knowing what to do or say. I did not want to speak with him anymore. He was scaring me. I let him sink into his thoughts. Stayed there holding his hand, lest he left. Mum joined us and they requested to be left alone.
• I went and changed into swimming costumes, a purple pair. I swam hoping that I would not find dad gone. I started imagining life without him. Nothing was making sense. I knew mum was worried too. She had talked to me about her fears earlier that morning. I felt guilty for leaving her with dad alone. I would go and look at them from a distance. At times I would see them laughing and at times talking very seriously. I went joined a group of girls almost my age and we talked about our studies and schools.