Chapter 53 Fifty Three

• Devon led Liam and Lilac to his study so they could talk, but as the three of them stood there, only silence reigned... "How are you?" Liam was the one who finally asked and broke the icy silence between them. "Not so good," Lilac responded truthfully. The last few days had been awful for her, and she hoped that the days ahead would get better, but she wasn't sure anymore... she was curious to know if there were any more secrets that her brothers were hiding from her that she needed to know. She hated when someone kept secrets from her, and she hated being left in the dark... It had been the most chilling thing to see her mother again and not be able to speak to her and tell her she was sorry and how much she loved her... it was something that she would think about for the rest of her life... "I saw Mom again...it felt surreal... she was standing right in front of me, but I..." Lilac trailed off and swallowed, trying to be strong so she wouldn't cry as she spoke, but it was hard not to when she rarely spoke about their mother... "I couldn't speak to her... I couldn't warn her about what was going to happen... do you know how I felt when I saw her casting a spell... it became all glaring to me that I was the cause of what happened. She used her spells to protect me, and I had no idea, " Lilac said, and Devon ran his hand through his hair. he hated the fact that she blamed herself for what happened... "It wasn't your fault... it was never your fault..." Devon said and hoped she would stop blaming herself, but Lilac shook her head... "No, it's my fault..." She breathed out, and Liam felt like he had been kicked in the gut... if only he hadn't been so stupid... if only he had stayed in the Palace like their mother had asked him to, then something as tragic as that wouldn't have occurred. Their father wouldn't have lost his mind, and their family would still be complete... but no... like always, he had chosen the wrong time to be stubborn and made his siblings blame themselves for what wasn't their fault... He would never forget how Distrut Lilac had been... she had refused to eat or speak to anyone for days and had locked herself in her room until Devon broke down her door and drew her out... She didn't want to be at their mother's funeral, and no one could console the other because they were all grieving in their own way, but their father had taken it the hardest... he had lost the love of his life, and when Liam asked him if he would ever recover... he could never forget the words of his father... "She was my heart, and now she is gone... I feel a reason to keep living... I can't feel her anymore..." His father had said in the most heartwrenching tone, and Liam had left him alone after that, thinking that time could heal all wounds. Butt some wounds could never be healed again... it was far too deep and only became bigger and bigger till it consumed someone whole... His father slowly started to lose his mind and started to look for ways to bring his queen back and almost went as far as using forbidden magic, but Liam had stopped him before he could and had to step up as the king before things went completely out of hand... their father couldn't live like that much longer, and he completely lost his mind... the great king... the great king lost his heart, and it completely ruined him... not even his children was enough to make him want to heal and live again... and what made even sadder was the fact that his father never blamed any one of them... He kept on telling them it wasn't their fault, but they all knew deep down that it was their fault, and though he never blamed them, they blamed themselves for such a tragedy that most tore them completely apart...
• "it was my fault... I shouldn't have left that night... I should have stayed when Mother asked me to. Instead, I left and made her worried... if only I had stayed behind..." Liam said, and Devon scoffed... "Are we going to keep blaming ourselves or each other when the dark and black witches are the ones to blame... they are the ones who killed Mother... they are the ones to blame... your anger and resentment should be directed towards them, not yourself!" Devon said. He had thought long and deeply about the whole situation, and it just didn't make any sense to him... it didn't make sense to him back then too, but he couldn't mention it to anyone, especially his father, because after what had happened, no one had spoken about their mother for a long time... it felt like it was a forbidden topic among them...
• "How did the dark witches know that mother would be outside the Palace... have you ever stopped to wonder that? Or have you used the whole time to blame yourself for something none of us could control... Lilac could barely change into a wolf without exerting herself, and I was still trying to get my wolf in. Check, while you were too heartbroken to do anything," Devon continued, and his siblings remained silent; no one interrupted him but instead listened to what he had to say...