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Chapter 54 Painful

  • Liyah's POV
  • I wasn't completely sure why my head was aching so much. I knew I had been tired and overwhelmed more times than I could count, but it felt different this time. It felt... worse. After everything that had happened in the car, I had begun to see things differently, understand things I didn't before. It all made sense now. Why Drew was still so protective of him although they had become distant, why Nikolai was always so bitter. It didn't change the fact that I was still hurt, but it did make me see things from a different perspective.
  • I hated the fact that I understood now. I didn't want to, I wanted to blame someone for everything that happened to me. I wanted to feel that pure hatred when I looked at him, and revel in it. But now... I couldn't even identify what exactly I was feeling. Sadness, anger, pity, confusion, all jumbled up in my heart. It was so overwhelming I thought I would break down crying. But the most overwhelming of all was the disgust I felt. I never thought I could completely despise Father. Yes, I harbored some resentment over how he treated me. But I had always secretly wished he would learn to love me. Now I could feel goosebumps form on my skin from the thought of being close to him.
  • I sighed, clutching the apple I held in my left hand and heading down to the balcony to look for him. I hadn't seen him since we got back, and he didn't appear at dinner either. Margaret said he wasn't in his room so I guessed he might be somewhere around. I hesitated as I got to the balcony. Why did I care that he hadn't had anything to eat? I shouldn't. If he wanted to starve it was his choice. I turned to walk back inside but my legs refused to cooperate.
  • I bit my bottom lip as an image of him beating himself up over and over again came to mind. Deciding I wouldn't stay longer than I meant to, I walked to the bench I could see him sitting in. 
  • Nikolai's POV
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