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Chapter 39 The things we do

  • Nikolai's POV
  • My head swirled with thoughts of today's events as I staggered through my bedroom door. Alcohol did nothing to lighten the load on my chest nor the rage I was feeling. I buried my head in my hands as I sat at the edge of my bed. Why had I let him escape? Why did I do something so stupid?
  • "Why did I..." I swallowed, clutching at my hair with shaky hands. I knew it could not have been helped but I couldn't help but feel so stupid about everything. My chest began to heave once more when I stared at Elle's portrait on the wall. I had failed her. I had failed once more. I let her murderer escape when he was right in front of me.
  • I raved with anger as my thoughts went to the prisoner. I had the perfect revenge tool against Jonas right in my grasp for weeks now. And instead of taking out my revenge and making her suffer like I was supposed to, I was out here playing nice to her. I even let them convince me to feed her! She didn't deserve any of it.
  • My heart filled up with bitterness every time the memory of my wolf proclaiming her as my mate came to mind. And each time if felt like I was betraying Elle even more... like I was cheating on her memory. It did nothing to honor her memory. I was doing nothing. Absolutely nothing. But I would reverse that now.
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