Chapter 52

• I am not sure how to interact with Agustine. I'm aware that he is in my office. I observed him enter the building after the fiancée and her daughter had left. My hands felt clammy, and my heartbeat raced without warning. Every instinct in me screamed to run or hide, but at the same time, I knew I had to face this. I tried to steady my breathing, inhaling and exhaling slowly, counting each second as if that would prepare me for the storm ahead. My mind wandered to my children, to how Gio and Gia would react if they saw him again, and the weight of that thought almost paralyzed me.
• I first asked Mom to take the children to a neighboring park. I want them to take a brief breath. I am aware that seeing Agustine with his family a second time saddens them. Their small faces, filled with confusion and longing, played over in my mind like a cruel slideshow. I didn't want to shield them forever, but I also couldn’t bear to expose them to the tangled mess of adult complications just yet. I don't want to put this off any longer, though. I'll speak with him, us alone. I need clarity for the sake of my children, for the sake of my own sanity.
• I inhaled deeply a few times before quietly opening my office door. The soft click of the hinges sounded far too loud in the otherwise empty space. He was waiting for me in the visitor's chair, as I had anticipated. Our eyes locked right away, and for a fleeting moment, the room seemed to shrink until it was just the two of us, breathing the same tense air. I could feel the heat of my own anxiety radiating, and I tried to suppress it, but it clawed at my chest relentlessly.