Chapter 45

• True to his words, he did not bother me. I kept waiting for some sort of interruption, a call, or even a text that would remind me he was still hovering around my life, but nothing came. The silence itself felt foreign, almost suspicious, as if I had to remind myself to breathe normally instead of anticipating another confrontation. Maybe it was ridiculous, but I had gotten so used to his unpredictable presence that the absence felt like a trick. Still, I forced myself to appreciate the little pocket of peace I was given.
• My meeting with the client was peaceful and I was able to leave the restaurant without seeing his presence again. The air outside even felt lighter, as if the world decided to give me a small break from chaos. It's a good thing because I am free to look for a house without him following me. I felt a strange sense of independence driving alone, though a part of me kept glancing at the rearview mirror out of habit. But maybe I was unlucky for a bit because I didn't like any of the available houses that I went to. Each time I stepped into a unit, something always felt wrong—too cold, too dark, too exposed. If they are not too big, they are too crowded, and not safe for the twins. I needed a place where they could feel at ease, where I could rest without constantly scanning for dangers from our past.
• I let out a sigh as I got into my car. The sun was dipping lower, casting long shadows across the windshield, and I felt some of the day's exhaustion settle deep in my bones. Later I suddenly remembered the apartment I lived in before. Just the memory stirred something bittersweet in my chest, a reminder of simpler days even if they weren’t perfect. There was a little hope in my chest somehow. It was odd how a place I once associated with struggle now felt like a potential refuge. Yeah, it doesn't have much space. But I can make it bigger while we stay there. I imagined rearranging furniture, adding shelves, finding new ways to make it feel like a true home for the twins.