Chapter 41 Forty One

• ARIEL’S POV
• Breakfast felt off. The room just felt off. Cold but not cold. Like someone left the window open inside my chest. I couldn’t eat. Couldn’t even blink right. Ryan was sitting right there in front of me and we hadn't said much to each other since last night, but his eyes kept sliding to me like he was checking if I’d fall apart or maybe if I remembered. But I remembered everything. I remembered his hands on me, his mouth, the way I almost let go and then didn’t. I remembered how I pushed him away with my whole chest pounding and I hated myself for it and I hated that I couldn’t explain why it felt like my body betrayed me.
• I stared down at the food. Eggs, toast, that orange juice I usually finished before the plate, and now it just looked like colors on a plate. I wasn’t hungry. I was just trying to exist. Grandfather sat at the head like a statue made of tension and secrets. Beta Derek was behind Ryan like usual, arms folded, sharp eyes, quiet mouth. Ryan hadn’t touched anything on his plate either. He was just pretending to be better than me.