Chapter 2

• Am I dead? I don't feel dead. What is death supposed to feel like? If I'm not, isn't my body supposed to hurt all over? There's no way I survived that fall. Are those birds? Maybe I'm in heaven? Pshhh, Heaven? Get real Ky. Is that toast I smell? Ok, so I'm not in the hospital. It's still entirely possible that this whole thing is just one terrible nightmare. I could NOT have survived that fall. Please, please tell me I didn't survive that fall.
• "Rise and shine kiddo. Time for school." My eyes shoot open and low and behold. Standing at my door in an immaculate grey suit, the one we buried him in, is Dad. I'm too stunned to speak. This must be heaven then coz Dad would definitely be in heaven. Except, why would I be? “Earth to Ky. Are you in there? Why are you staring at me like that?" He looked confused as I jumped up and squeezed my arms around his neck. “Dad” is all I can whisper.
• Tears fill my eyes as I try to swallow past the lump in my throat. “Are you ok sweetheart? Did you have a nightmare?” He holds me close and smooths the back of my head like he did when I ran home from school back in fourth grade and Benito Bennett had pushed me to the ground and called me horrible names. It must have been a nightmare. I must have dreamed he was dead. He clearly isn't.
• “Dad, is Kyomi up and ready? We're going to be late!” Who the hell is that!? I pull away from Dad and try to look past his shoulder to see whoever it was that had just called my father Dad, knowing that I am his only daughter. “Will you be ok today Ky?” Dad was still looking at me with a concerned expression on his face. I couldn't answer him so I just nodded my head. "Daaad!!" the girl whines from the other room. "Alright, Heather. Ky will be ready in a minute." Heather? Dad smiles and gives me a wink and then closes the door behind him.
• I'm left standing in my bedroom, staring at a door. A purple door. Wait. Lilac? My door is supposed to be brown. For the first time since waking I take a look around at the room, I am standing in. At first glance, it looks like my bedroom, but upon further inspection, I find that there are a few changes. The walls aren't cream, they're the palest of pink. There are posters on the wall and a dressing table with lights around the mirror.
• There are photos posted all around the mirror. Tentatively stepping toward the mirror to inspect the photos, I realize they're pictures of me. Pictures of Mom holding me as a baby, pictures of me and a girl who looks exactly like me. She has the same black hair that I do. The same freckles across her nose, only my eyes are green while hers are a bright blue. We look about 10 years old in the picture and my arm is around the other girls' shoulders as hers is around mine. We look like we just got out of the pool. We look like we're best friends. We look identical. I have no memory of ever taking this picture with her. Or with anybody in these photos.
• There is even one with me and Benito Bennett. Why would I have a picture with a guy that bullied me? A guy that I would rather be caught dead than letting him touch me, but here he is: His right arm is around my waist while my arms are around his neck, my head tilted toward the camera and laughing, while he looks at me lovingly with a smile on his face.
• I want to puke! His right arm is around my waist while my arms are around his neck, my head tilted toward the camera and laughing, while he looks at me lovingly with a smile on his face. I want to puke!
• "Ky!! Seriously?" The door flies open and an angry-looking girl, the same one from the picture, is staring back at me. Her arms are across her chest as her nostrils flare, glancing at me up and down. "You 're STILL in your PJ's? Is this some sort of twisted revenge for wearing your dress Friday night? I already apologized for that. Now COME ON! Or I will make you WALK to school.”
• Without waiting for a response, she slammed the door behind her as she exited. And for the second time that morning, I was left stunned, staring at the purple door. I find Dad and Heather sitting at the breakfast table in the kitchen. Everything looks the same except for Dad and Heather. Dad isn't supposed to be sitting there, reading the news on a tablet and eating cereal like everything is normal and the last 7 days didn't just happen.
• My body double is wolfing down a plate of flapjacks like her life depends on it. I sit and grab a fork full of bacon “Is mom in the shower?” I ask as I look around, down the corridor. Silence. I turn to face a pale looking Dad and a scowling Heather. "Are you..." Heather frowns "I can't tell if you're being serious right now Ky." She says. I don't know how to answer her. She sighs, "I know you've taken mom's death the hardest out of all of us and Dad said you're feeling under the weather so I'm just going to ignore you okay?" She says it so politely and goes back to eating her pancakes but Dad gets up, with shiny eyes kisses my forehead and hers and leaves without a word. Heather checks the time, starts to visibly panic and pull me off my chair before I can get the second bite in.
• The morning passes with a blur of faces, some recognizable, some not so much. The bell rings for lunch and Heather once again hooks her arm into mine and pulls me out of the classroom with her. I'm guessing we're headed to the cafeteria. She says nothing to me and I do not know what to say. “Hey Ky,” a guy passes me, nodding his head. I don't know him. I'm trying not to look as freaked out as I feel.
• All the way down the hall everybody nods, waves or says “hi” and I do not recognize one face. Nor would I want to. This place creeps me out. What kind of suburbia is this where everyone is nice? "Hey babe," I feel arms wrap around my waist from behind me and my breath hitches, I push away from him immediately and scowl. I never allow anybody to touch me. "Ugh, really Benito? I was just about to steal my sister away for a bite to eat before I lose you to her for the rest of the day. Again. I swear ever since you two got together I haven't seen much of her. Ky," she looks at me pleadingly "could you tell him, please? Just an hour? I really need to talk."
• Heather hasn't paid much attention to my reaction, but Benito clearly has. He hasn't changed much in his features since a few hours ago at the funeral, except his expression is softer. Still handsome. He ignores Heather completely, his eyes fixated on me "Are you ok? You look like you're going to be sick." He says. Of course, I'm going to be sick, Benito Bennett just tried to touch me. Ew. "Uh," Clearing my throat, I said softly "I'm... going to sit with Heather...". He raises his eyebrow and looks at me suspiciously. "You sure you're ok babe? You can sit with Heather if you want, or I could take you home. You could rest a bit?" I don't trust him one little bit.
• Heather scoffs beside me, "Uhm, obvious much?!" rolling her eyes "Take her home to rest? Please!" Benito smiles sheepishly, looking at his feet for a second and then up at Heather. But when he looks into my eyes, his suspicion returns. "I'm fine, Benito," I say. I'm confused because I still feel like I'm dreaming or dead. But I can't exactly say that. He looks reluctant to let it go, so I give a slight smile, hoping it is convincing enough for him to stop eyeballing me. Benito shrugs and kisses me on the cheek. I struggle not to cringe and pull away again or wipe his saliva off my cheek in front of Heather, she'll suspect something too. “I'll see you later then. After school? Meet me at my car, ok?" In your dreams loverboy. I think to myself. I just nod.
• Heather takes my arm and pulls me toward the cafeteria, “So, Sis, now that I finally have you to myself, you never told me what our plans are for the summer. It's just around the corner, you know? Never too early to plan. I was thinking either the cabin at Knysna, or a beach hotel in Cape Town, or we could always go to Mom's place up in America." I stop dead in my tracks. "M- mom's place?" "Well, yeah she left it to us, remember? We can go there whenever we want. Unless it's still too difficult for you? Is it?" She says. Her expression was filled with genuine concern.
• I don't know what is more overwhelming as I'm reminded that my mother is dead. Finding out I have a sister who is my identical twin, finding out my Dad is alive or not knowing what all of this is. I am still not convinced that I am not dead myself. Can I not even kill myself properly? I feel myself hyperventilating, but I can't let her know what is happening. All of this is too crazy to comprehend. What about Blaze? Is there even a Blaze? There was never a Heather and now there is. I'm too afraid to ask. But I have to know. I just have to.
• "Ky, Benito was right, you do look pale. Maybe I should take you to the nurse's office?" "No!" I say a little too loudly. "No, I think maybe I should go home. I am feeling a little faint." I say again truthfully. Heather nods her head and walks with me to her car. On the drive home, she sneaks side glances at me, but I say nothing. Being at home might help me go through the house, to see what other changes there are. This realization makes me feel a little better. Maybe then I can figure out what exactly happened to me. And why none of this feels like a dream. It feels very real. And that is the scariest part. What if all of this is real? My life here seems so much happier.
• Everything here seems normal. So why do I not know this life? And how did I even get here in the first place? And if the people I knew in that life don't exist, does that mean Blaze's gone too? I hope he's gone. Please be gone. Heather pulls into the driveway and shuts off the engine. "Do you want me to stay with you? I could, you know?" "No, that's ok. I'll be fine. I'm just going to lie down a little. Hopefully, I'll feel better." I open the door as quickly as possible.
• Just before I slam the door, Heather asks, "Want me to call Dad? He could come home a little earlier, maybe take you to the doctor?" "It's not necessary Heather, really." She's starting to annoy me and the last thing I need right now is a doctor telling me I've got a mental illness and need to be admitted.
• How do I explain to a doctor that I jumped off a cliff last night and woke up this morning with a father that's alive and a sister I didn't have before? How do I explain that I had just seen my mother yesterday? “Don't worry.” I try to reassure her. I smile and slam the door. She pulls out of the driveway. I head into the house and peek out of the window to make sure she really is gone. Relief washes over me. Time to see what I can find.