Chapter 13

• Dear Diary
• Yesterday I did my first psychological training. It was strange. I had to do a pre-quiz. They ask you a few questions and they require you to be 100 percent honest. I was put in a room where they repeated a series of images and videos of my childhood. Videos of my dad and mom fighting, and my mom leaving. Things I didn’t know happened, and things I couldn't remember. They recorded my life. They’d been watching me since I was very small. I felt strange at first. It dawned on me that there were strangers watching my every move. They had been observing my behaviours, my reactions, my big life moments and my deepest heartaches. All to lead up to this moment. This defining moment of whether I survive or break while watching all of this. When I walked out of there, I asked myself one question: Does this matter? I had to put things into a clear perspective for myself. It didn’t matter to me that they were observing me. It led me to this moment. There are great things that I would achieve if I can get through this. If I get through this training, I would help millions of people. I could make a real difference in the world. I need to keep this as my core focal point. By doing this, these minor things won’t faze me. They’re just a means to an end.