Chapter 1

• I was confident that I could make Elijah happy. If I loved him hard enough, served him well enough, and became good enough, my sincerity may reach him and we would be happy together. As always, I was foolish. I couldn’t make a man who didn’t love me happy.
• I may not be the woman he wanted but I thought I could be the woman he needed so I loved him harder. I wanted to make my mate happy but why was it so difficult?
• ‘The food has gone cold,’ my wolf whispered. ‘We should go to bed, Ri.’
• ‘How can I sleep when my mate isn’t home yet?’ I asked while stifling a yawn. ‘How would he feel if he returned to a silent house? I can wait a few more hours for him.’
• It was past midnight but I knew how much Elijah hated returning to a silent or empty house so I waited for him. Because it was unusual for him to stay out so late, I couldn’t help but worry.
• “Why isn’t he taking his calls?” I tried reaching him several times but he didn’t take my calls and never called back.
• Hours later, the sound of keys jiggling jolted me awake. I’d fallen asleep at the dining while waiting for him. Wiping drool from my cheeks, I put on a radiant smile and went to greet my mate.
• “Welcome, honey.” I greeted him at the door, taking his bag and jacket.
• His presence alone brightened my world. Looking at him, the fatigue weighing me down eased off my shoulders and my wolf relaxed.
• “You’re still awake.” His gaze slid past me, his tone dismissive. “You didn’t have to wait up for me.”
• There was no warmth in his voice but I had been deluding myself for the entire five years of our relationship so I told myself that he cared about me. He cared about me and as a result, didn’t want me losing sleep for any reason.
• “Elijah, you’re my mate.” My smile waned as he walked past me.
• “What has that got to do with anything?” He asked without looking at me.
• “We’re mates, so of course, I’ll wait up for you. The bed is cold and empty without you.” I hugged him from behind, inhaling his scent.
• “You should have prepared a glass of water while you waited.” He pulled away. “I’m thirsty.”
• As if a bucket of ice-cold water had been poured on my head, my back straightened and I stared at his retreating back in disbelief. Watching him walk away without a care in the world lit a spark of irritation in me and it spread through me like a fire that ignited anger. The fire torched the cosy feeling I got from being around him.
• “Is that all you have to say to me?” I growled at him.
• I was not a mate that nagged. My insecurities, my displeasures, my questions, I swallowed them all because I didn’t want to bother him but not tonight. After waiting for hours for him to get home, calling his line and worrying that something may have happened to him, this was all he had to say to me?
• “Shouldn’t I know why you’re coming home so late? I called you a hundred times but you never picked up or even returned my calls. What’s wrong with you?” I almost shouted.
• His gaze slid over to me causing a lump to settle in my throat. His eyes were cold, his face set in an apathetic mask. I could imagine all I said went into one ear and came out the other. There was no warmth, no care, not even concern, in the gaze that settled on me. There was no regard.
• He ignored everything I said, merely giving me a disinterested look and then he turned again and walked away from me. I couldn’t let him go. It was unlike me to bother Elijah but the unease inside me was mounting. I wanted to see – no – I needed to see even a flicker of warmth, a smidge of concern, something that let me know that he at least cared.
• “Even if you don’t love me,” I couldn’t keep the hurt from my voice. “Even if you don’t have any affection for me, I am still your mate. You should have some respect for me as your partner. All I have done is…” I started on a rant that couldn’t go far since he stopped me.
• “Yes, I don’t love you.” His tone and expression seemed to ask me ‘Now what?’ “I have never loved you and will never love you. You knew this when you agreed to be my mate. This is merely a relationship of convenience so don’t get ahead of yourself.” My breath hitched at those words. “You’re my mate so you know I am the Alpha of this pack. I don’t have the time to deal with your emotional outburst. I’m tired.”
• I don’t know what possessed me. Was it desperation or fear? I never found out but I grabbed his hand to stop him as he moved again.
• “Why are you suddenly like this? I’ve done my best for you in the five years of our mating. What’s wrong? Did I upset you?”
• He shook my hand off him like I carried a disease. His usual blank expression transformed to one of wrath, his eyes hard. He glared down at me like I was his –his enemy.
• “Do you know how pathetic you sound right now?” He shouted at me. “You know I merely settled for you. I’ve let you enjoy the luxuries of being my Luna all these years. I never asked for your love so you can shove it and stop playing the victim! Continue to live like a mouse as you’ve always done!” His eyes were red, his wolf on the surface.
• I was so aghast that I could only stare at him with my mouth agape as he climbed up the stairs with stiff shoulders and loud footsteps.
• Five years. In the five years since Elijah and I mated, he had never raised his voice at me. He had never said a kind word but he never said a harsh word either. We lived as perfect strangers but he never once raised his voice at me or threw words at me.
• Was this the beginning of the end or was it the end itself?
• Minutes later, I pulled myself from my stupor and went to our bedroom. He wasn’t there. My heart turned heavy and my mouth bitter. He wasn’t in our room. I checked three other rooms before I found him in one of the guest rooms with the door locked.
• “Elijah?” I called as I knocked. “Can I come in?” He was in there. I could feel him and perceive his scent but there was no response.
• “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to nag at you,” I spoke with a thick voice, holding back tears. “I was just – just a little frustrated so can we talk? Please, open the door.” My words were met with silence that spoke volumes. I stood at the door for close to thirty minutes but there was no response. He didn’t come to open the door and he didn’t utter a word.
• Sometimes, I felt ridiculous. Sometimes, I felt that none of what I did mattered to Elijah. I may as well be a high-functioning maid but as long as I was useful to him, as long as I could make life a little more comfortable for him, I felt he would come to appreciate me. Yet, so many years had passed and he continued to make me feel small. Small and alone
• He never appreciated my efforts so why did I continue to try? How much longer would I continue to love such a heartless man? I was tired.