“I will be a terrible mother. My own mother never showed me any love growing up, so how would I show it to a child? I would ruin them with my unloving presence, and they would grow up jaded and looking for love and acceptance in all the wrong places. I would only make them suffer, Anabelle, therefore I do not want any children.”
As soon as I heard these words fall from Elena’s mouth, I knew things would be different between the two of us. She had never been this honest with me in the past regarding this. And for what reason? Did she think not having children was a deal breaker in our marriage?
She looks up as if sensing me, and the moment our eyes meet, I see the guilt cloud her eyes. Oh, Elena, do you not know that I would love you even if you chose not to bear my children? I walk towards her and Anabelle and the latter look at me before giving Elena a kiss on the forehead and taking her leave. Elena doesn’t break my eye contact until I smile at her. “Do you hate me now?” She asks, not meeting my gaze again.
I walk towards her and wrap her in an embrace. “No matter what you say, I would still love you, Elena. But I will not forgive you for saying that you would ruin our children’s lives because you would be unloving. If you can love a cold, unfeeling person such as myself, who’s to say that you could not love your own child?” I tell her, and she visibly blanches at my words. She looks visibly confused and shakes her head. “You’re not cold and unfeeling.” She says, taking my bait.
I smile and cup her cheek with my palm, “Neither are you, petite pâquerette. You have shown me so much love in the past few months than anyone has ever shown me, Isla included. The warmth and love you have brought into my life and home is unparalleled. I don’t know what I would do without you in my life, Elena, and I do not blame you for not wanting children right now. I would never think of forcing you into it, but please, never call yourself unloving again, because that is a lie.” I say and watch as unshed tears brim her eyes. Leaning closer to her, I kiss her forehead. “I love you,” I whisper and feel the slight tremble of her body as she sobs.