Chapter 1 Not Again

• “Push!”
• The voice of the pack healer booms in my ear, sweat all over my face and dripping down my neck, my legs spread wide open on the delivery table.
• “Luna, come on, push! The baby is almost here.”
• I arch my neck and look down, seeing the head of my baby popping out of my torn vagina. I take a deep breath, throw my head back and grip the hands of both omegas holding me down on both sides. I purse my lips tightly, close my eyes and a wanton pain tears through me as I try my best, yelling as I give the baby one last push.
• I heaved a huge sigh of relief, collapsing on the table, completely exhausted as I become unburdened from the child that was hanging between my legs, but the relief did not last long.
• My baby is not crying.
• “Not again, not again,” I cry out, tears spilling out of my eyes as pain jabs my heart.
• This is the third one, the third one in four years. I cannot lose this one again, not another stillbirth, no!
• I sit up on the stream of blood and amniotic fluid pooled between my legs, and my heart pounds in fear and terror.
• “Give it to me, give it to me,” I say frantically, staring with fear filled eyes at the doctor as the doctor rolls the baby on its belly, flat on her arms and spanks its buttocks.
• I watch on with hope and dread, more dread than hope, this feels like more than déjà vu, it has become my reality.
• To go through all the stages of pregnancy, endure the labour pains, only to never hear my child cry or hold it in my arms.
• Again and again, the doctor spanks the baby, but it remains unresponsive.
• The doctor looks at me with a sorrowful pity in her eyes and shakes her head, handing the baby to a nurse.
• “Time of birth, eleven fifty-five pm, time of death, eleven fifty-five pm.”
• “No…..” I turn frantic, a strong ache coursing through every cell in my body, my heart clenching with immeasurable pain, “give it to me! Give it to me!” I yell, jumping off the table.
• The nurse turns the child away from my sight and the doctor yells at the other nurses, “hold her back!” She locks eyes with me as four nurses hold me down.
• The doctor’s eyes are full of pity, but her voice is curt.
• “I understand your grief Luna, but it is forbidden for a mother to hold the corpse of her child,” she turns to the nurse, “take it outside.”
• “You don’t understand anything,” I growl, my voice turning animalistic, blending with that of my wolf, “Give me my child!” My voice comes out with a command, my Luna aura rising from me, and everyone present in the room immediately bares their neck to me.
• The nurse holding the child freezes, about to turn and give the child to me when the door opens and none other than Alpha Jace, the Alpha of the Moon Storm Pack, my husband and Alpha, steps into the room, a calm yet powerful aura emanating from him.
• He locks eyes with me briefly, a gaze so icy and cold that it sends literal shivers down my spine.
• “Get rid of it,” Alpha Jace all but whispers his command as he turns to the nurse holding our dead child, and he silently leaves the room without as much as a word of comfort to me, his wife.
• I raise my head up to see him leave and the pain from the loss of my child pales in comparison to the pain from the look of shame and disappointment that he looked at me with, and I break down in tears.
• What have I done to deserve this?
• Why does the goddess bless me with the fruit of the womb, time and time again, only to let it get rotten at the very time of harvest?
• I can tell Jace is fed up with me, with my inability to give him a child, an heir.
• The first two times, he held me, comforted me, mourned with me, but now, he can barely even look at me.
• I wail, sinking into the cold abyss of pain and despair.
• The next morning, I wake up to the sound of commotion or rather celebration outside our home. I sigh and turn in bed, only to see Jace’s side of the bed empty and smooth like he was never there.
• My eyes pool with tears and pain fiddles with my heart, but I hold myself back from crying, telling myself that Jace will come around, that I have not lost him after failing to give him an heir for the third time in four years.
• The sound of whatever is going on downstairs gets louder and louder and even though I don't have a thing against anyone celebrating, I know the pack would have heard of the loss of my child and I believe the mood this morning should be one of mourning and not celebration.
• Driven by my curiosity, I mindlink my personal maid and omega, Tracy.
• ‘What’s going on out there?’ I ask, forcing my aching body out of bed, and trudge towards the window to see if I can catch a glimpse of anything.
• ‘Luna, you should be resting.’
• ‘How can I, with all this noise? What’s it about?’
• Seconds pass and Tracy doesn’t reply.
• ‘Tracy? You there? What’s going on?’
• ‘It’s the Alpha,’ Tracy replies, her voice sounding strained and low, ‘A woman came this morning, with– with a child and….’
• ‘Tracy, talk to me, what’s going on? What woman? What child?’ I ask in a frantic tone, marching towards my closet for appropriate clothing, my heart suddenly racing, multiple horrible scenarios playing in my head.
• ‘Luna you should–’
• ‘By the goddess Tracy, if you don’t tell me what’s going on right now, I will have you punished,’ I cut her off, while making a mess of my closet.
• ‘Well….the woman came with a child this morning, claiming that he is the Alpha’s son and the Alpha has accepted them.’
• I freeze, my heart stops beating for a moment and a loud noise rings in my ear.