Chapter 3 Three

• Sophia's POV
• Pain.
• Hurt.
• Humiliation.
• That was the order of my life now. Breathing felt pointless. Smiling felt like an impossible task, not that I ever truly smiled before. There was nothing left for me to hope for. No reason to hold on.
• I just wanted to close my eyes and never wake up again. At least in death, I wouldn’t feel anything. Not this emptiness. Not this gnawing pain in my chest that refused to let me go.
• I didn’t even have the courage to go to school. Home alone was already a nightmare I couldn’t escape from, so how was I supposed to cope in a place filled with over three hundred thousand wolves ready to tear me apart with their words and their eyes? Our pack was the third largest under the southern lycan king, and the young adults thrived on drama and gossip. They loved to watch others crumble and bleed from inside out. My situation was just another form of entertainment for them. Their source of amusement for the day. Or the week. Or forever.
• But staying back wasn’t an option either. No one cared about my mental state. No one cared about how shattered I felt. I had to go whether I liked it or not, and I could only hope they would just ignore me and let me fade into the background where I always belonged.
• I dragged myself out of bed, limbs heavy, heart heavier. My eyes felt swollen and gritty from crying all night, but I didn’t care. I got dressed mechanically, pulling on my worn-out jeans and faded black hoodie. I grabbed my backpack and made my way downstairs.
• Joel was waiting for me by the door. As soon as he saw me, his eyes widened with relief and sadness all at once.
• “Sophia,” he breathed, pulling me into a hug so tight I thought my bones would snap. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”
• Okay. The word echoed in my head, empty and meaningless. Did I look okay to him? Did he not see how broken I was?
• I wanted to tell him that I wasn’t okay. That I felt like my soul had been ripped out of my chest. But instead, I nodded. “Yes,” I whispered. There was no point burdening him with my pain. His presence alone was the only comfort I had left.
• He held me for a long time, and I didn’t want to let him go. For those few silent seconds, it felt like I could breathe again. Like someone in this cruel world actually cared if I lived or died. Like I wasn’t completely alone.
• “I’m so sorry for what happened, Sophie,” he murmured against my hair. “You are a beautiful soul. You deserve every happiness in the world.”
• I squeezed my eyes shut, fighting back tears. If only the Moon Goddess thought so too. If only she believed I deserved even a sliver of happiness. Maybe she would have made him my mate instead, and none of this would hurt so badly.
• We walked to school in silence. There was so much to say, yet nothing could be said. Words couldn’t erase the memory of my rejection. Words couldn’t sew my shattered heart back together.
• When we got to the school gates, he turned to me. “Do you want me to walk you to class?”
• I forced a small smile. “No. We’re already late. If you walk me, you’ll be even later. Go on. I’ll be fine.”
• He hesitated, then ruffled my hair gently. “Fine. I’ll see you later, okay?”
• As he walked away, I let out a shaky breath. The loneliness slammed back into me, harder than before. My chest ached with the urge to turn and run home, to bury myself in chores or lock myself in my room forever. Anything but this.
• But somehow, my feet carried me forward. Into the building. Through the long corridors filled with chatter and laughter. I felt eyes on me. Whispered words that I couldn’t hear but I knew were about me. The girl without a wolf. The outcast. The rejected mate.
• This was a big school, with wolves from other packs as well. Maybe not everyone knew what happened. Maybe I could just blend in and pretend I was invisible.
• But when I entered my class, all hope crumbled. Every pair of eyes turned towards me instantly. Their stares pierced through me like blades, their lips curled in mockery. They knew. Somehow, everyone knew.
• “Miss Everest,” Mr. Matthew, our etiquette teacher, drawled sarcastically. “How nice of you to finally grace us with your presence.”
• “I’m sorry, sir. I woke up late,” I mumbled.
• “I’m sure you did,” he scoffed. “Get in.”
• My cheeks burned with embarrassment as I scurried to my seat, praying for the ground to swallow me whole. But the second I sat down, the chair snapped beneath me and I crashed to the floor.
• Laughter exploded across the classroom.
• “Everest, I will not have you disrupting my class!” Mr. Matthew snapped.
• “I’m sorry,” I whispered, scrambling to my feet, my palms burning from the impact.
• I kept my eyes down for the rest of the class, each minute stretching like an eternity. When the bell finally rang for recess, I practically ran out, hoping to find a quiet corner to breathe. But as soon as I stepped into the hallway, my breath froze.
• Drawings of me were plastered all over the walls. Each one mocking me, recreating the exact moment Levi rejected me on my birthday. My hair drawn like tangled silver wires, tears streaming down my face as I knelt on the floor screaming. The students were gathered around, laughing, pointing, taking pictures of the sketches as if they were admiring a piece of comedic art.
• My heart twisted painfully in my chest. Why was life so cruel to me? What did I ever do to deserve this? Was it my fault that I got separated from my parents during the war? That no family wanted to adopt me while the other orphaned children were taken in and given new homes, new lives?
• I blinked back tears, but they refused to stay down. They rolled down my cheeks no matter how hard I clenched my jaw.
• After classes ended, I just wanted to run home and disappear under my blanket. But that was impossible. Apparently, I had training today. The daily torment never stopped.
• “You’re early!” Lucy’s shrill voice cut through the courtyard as I walked towards the training grounds. She was standing with her arms folded, a smirk playing on her lips. “I didn’t think you’d have the guts to show your face here after everything.”
• I ignored her. That was the only power I had left, my silence.
• “Doreen, you’re with Everest today,” Lucy called out, blowing her whistle.
• My stomach dropped. Doreen was at least three times my size, taller and broader, with muscles like boulders. She grinned wickedly at me, her eyes gleaming with excitement.
• I walked towards the weapons rack, my hands trembling. I froze when I saw what was lined up. Real swords. Real spears. Real daggers. No practice sticks today.
• “Is there a problem, Everest?” Lucy’s voice snapped me out of my frozen state.
• “I… I don’t understand,” I stammered, turning to her. “These are real weapons.”
• “Of course, sweetheart. Did you think enemies would attack us with wooden sticks? Get real.” Her eyes narrowed in disgust.
• “But…”
• “But what? If you had transformed like the rest of the girls, we would be training your wolf, not your worthless self.” Her words sliced through my chest like hot knives.
• She walked closer to me, her eyes dark and cold. “If I were you, I’d work hard so I don’t become a liability in battle. Or worse, the first to die.”
• I swallowed hard, glancing at Doreen who was twirling her sword like it weighed nothing. My knees felt weak. There was no way I could fight her. Not today. Not ever.
• “Don’t worry,” Lucy added with a smirk. “She’ll go easy on you.”
• I picked up a sword, its weight heavy and foreign in my trembling hands. The whistle blew. Doreen charged towards me like a raging bull. I didn’t even try to lift my sword. There was no way I was fighting back.
• Instead, I turned and ran.
• Laughter erupted behind me. I heard Lucy yelling at me to stop running, but I didn’t care. I wasn’t about to stand there and let Doreen split my head open.
• I ran past Lucy, but her arm shot out suddenly. Before I could react, I slammed into it, the impact sending me sprawling to the dirt floor. Pain shot up my ribs. My sword slipped from my grasp.
• I barely had time to register the pain when Doreen was already on me. Her sword came down with terrifying speed. I rolled away, but not fast enough. The blade grazed my arm, slicing through my skin like paper.
• Blood gushed out, dripping onto the dirt. My vision blurred with tears and pain.
• When I looked up, Lucy was smiling.
• She wanted this. They all wanted this.
• And in that moment, lying there in the dirt, bleeding and trembling, I realised something: If I wanted to survive in this world, I would have to stop hoping for mercy.
• Because none of them were ever going to give it to me.