Chapter 64 Marianna

• I think I'm still in shock. Padre shot Carina. I shot him. He killed Carina. She's dead. I don't know why that is so unbelievable when this is what I was hoping for. Ever since she showed up at the house, she's been nothing but a pain in my ass. She even tried to kill me once, and I promised myself I would kill her instead. Why then can't I believe that she's dead? Before we left, I saw the light go out of her eyes. She was looking right at me when she took her last breath. It's the kind of look that will forever remain in my mind.
• We grew up hating each other. It was so natural to hate her because I thought she got the better end of the deal. While I was busy running around doing Padre's bidding, she was in New York, living the life I wanted. Doing what I wanted to do but couldn't. She had everything I wanted, which is funny because she thought the same thing. Carina wasn't one to keep her mouth shut. Whenever she wanted something, she came right out and said it. I know just how much she wanted to be in my place. She'd begged Padre to let me go to New York so she could take over my duties, but he'd refused.
• Now that I think about it, I can't understand why she would do that. Her life was so much better and easier than mine. Why wasn't she satisfied with it? She didn't know how disgusting and dirty I felt every time I let those men touch me just so I could fulfill Padre's orders. Would she still have wanted to be me if she knew? Should I have explained what I did to her? Padre called us thieves. He said she'd taken the money they had stolen from Cris, which was around five million dollars. How could she take that and come back? Fuck, what was wrong with her?