Chapter 103 Carina

• When I open my eyes again, the room is dark. Thank heavens. I don't think I can handle the bright lights again. Although the beep beep of the machine is grating on my nerves and I want nothing more than to kick it so it would shut up. Lifting my head, I look around and realizing I'm alone, I lie back down. Wondering what I'll do now. It's insane that I've lived for seven months then forgotten about them. Do time travelers feel like this? Probably not because they always remember where they've been. Past or future. The doctor said I shouldn't force myself but it's so hard. Sitting here speculating on what could have happened to me. Did this happen while I was on one of Padre's jobs?
• Lombardi's dead.
• Yeah, about that, how did he die? Was I the one who killed him? Paulo mentioned something about me taking over operations. Did one of his rivals try to kill me? Where the fuck did my mother come from? And with a sister too? I remember her. She looked kind of familiar. Do I know her from somewhere? But most importantly, why do I feel so empty? Like, how can I put it? A shell. I feel like my body is missing something but I can't put my hand on what that thing is. Is it my memories? But as far as I'm concerned, memories are stored in the brain which is in my head. We're talking about my body here. Fuck, you can see the irony too, can't you? For someone who doesn't have her memories, I sure do have a lot of questions.