Chapter 57

I was sitting on my bed, while Dimitri was sitting in front of me on the sofa. Cole had brought me to one of the guest rooms and gave me some clothes. I showered myself and changed my clothes. I don't know what I should do here. All-day long I was sitting on this bed thinking about my future. Where will I be in the future? What will I do? All my thoughts eventually go to Enzo, What would have happened if I didn't see him there? What would happen if I didn't go to that restaurant in the first place?
I feel like I am drowning and there is no hope of being saved. The blackness of my memories starts to spread through my mind, clouding my thoughts and taking me back to places I never wanted to revisit. His voice, His face, His touches everything was coming back to me. I know I should hate him for what he has done to me but why can't I? Why can't I hate him? Why am I like this? He destroyed my trust in him and my self-esteem. Why did I meet him, why did I fall in love with him?
He doesn't love me, and Everything that happened between us was a setup. I don't know how many times I have said this to myself but This isn't making me hate him. Why? Why can't I hate him?