Chapter 1 Kay

• I laid in bed alone, staring at the ceiling. It was a cold rainy morning. Most mornings here in Oklahoma were rainy in the spring. I could hear the rain patter lightly on the roof of our house and the shower running faintly in the next room. My husband, Peyton, would be leaving for a big job tomorrow and we had been fighting again. I wish it wasn’t always like this; we used to be best friends. Our differences used to make us stronger, but now the differences are all we can see. Like oil and water, we just didn’t mix anymore. We had been trying to save our marriage for what felt like an eternity, but nothing was working. I just wanted to go back to how it was when we first met. I closed my eyes and tried to remember what it felt like so long ago…
• Peyton came bounding towards me happily, an ice cream cone held proudly in each hand. His blue eyes glowed in the summer sun and light bounced off his golden hair like a halo.
• “For my queen.” He bowed dramatically and presented me with an ice cream.
• “Thank you!” I said, greedily taking the cone from his hands. Peyton was a few years younger than me, but he had been happily following me around since we moved back 6 months ago. He hated my current boyfriend but was always polite and gave us our space. I really appreciated his presence. He was there when I was down and there when I was up. We had really built an odd but kind friendship over the past few months and I found myself enjoying his company more and more. I could tell he had a crush on me, but I didn’t want to pursue anything with him. I was broken. I had just experienced one of the most traumatizing relationships of my life, followed by one of the most passionate, and I wasn’t really interested in getting involved again. Peyton was patient though and I knew he would wait if it took that.
• “Absolutely.” He said firmly “I would give you all the ice cream in the world if it meant you would smile.” He lightly chucked me under the chin before sitting next to me on the bench. We had walked here because he had said he wanted to talk, but we weren’t really talking. I took a big lick from my cone and swallowed deeply, turning to Peyton, and clearing my throat.
• “So,” I started “ What did you want to talk about?” Peyton almost choked on his ice cream and turned to face me as well. His face was slightly red, and he looked almost embarrassed. His eyes darted around my face in a panic.
• “I, uhm…” he looked away from me and I could see his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. “Well, I was wondering if you’d go to a movie with me?” Silence hung in the air, then suddenly I laughed out loud. Not at the request, but at the fact that he was so nervous about it. We had been to the movies plenty of times before, I don’t know why this time would be a big deal.
• “Peyton we’ve been to the movies together before.” I lightly chuckled when I saw the dejected look on his face. “Why are you so nervous?”
• “I don’t want it to be like the other times.” He said flatly, glaring a hole in the ground before him. “I want it to be a different kind of ‘going to the movies’, I want it to be a date.” He finally turned back to me, a fire burning behind his eyes, determination on his face. “Do you understand what I’m trying to ask you?” I licked my lips anxiously and I watched as his eyes flicked to them and hunger grew in his gaze.
• “You want to go on a date?” I finally asked weakly. I didn’t know what to say. Peyton wasn’t usually this forward and I was kind of taken off guard by the tingling sensation that was now singing in my body.
• “Yes,” His gaze still glued to my lips; my tongue darted out to wet them again. “And I want to kiss you goodnight when I take you home.”
• “You want to kiss me goodnight?” I asked dumbfounded. Who was this man in front of me and what had he done with Peyton?
• “I want to kiss you before we say goodnight.” He clarified.
• “Then do it.” The words left my mouth before I could even register that I had thought them. Peyton’s eyes snapped up to mine.
• “You don’t mean that.” He said quietly. I could tell he was waiting on my rejection, but he wouldn’t receive it. I knew he had been waiting for a long time and I was curious. Peyton was kind and caring and I could see myself having a happy life with him, and if not, we could have a little fun.
• “I do.” I said firmly. Peyton hesitantly raised his hand and cupped my cheek. He gently brushed circles with his thumb and leaned in as he searched my face for any sign of resistance. I leaned into his touch and my eyes drifted closed. Within a breath his lips were on mine. Fire ignited where we touched, and I could see light dancing behind my eyes. He stole the breath from my body and simultaneously breathed life into me. His tongue lightly brushed my lips, and I opened my mouth for his exploration. I leaned deeply into his body as his free hand drifted low on my hips. I could feel heat pooling between my thighs and a wanton desire to be beneath him filled my thoughts.
• Just as I thought he might want the same, he pulled away, abruptly ending the kiss, and leaving me hot and wanting on the park bench. He stood an arm’s length away from me breathing heavily.
• “We should go home.” He finally said after what felt like forever. Was he upset? He turned to me, not looking in my eyes, and extended a hand to help me up. I took his hand in mine and stood. Peyton was such a curious guy; I couldn’t help but smile as I noticed his cheeks were a bright shade of red and we headed for home.
• I sighed remembering how soft Peyton used to be toward me. Things had changed so dramatically in the past 15 years. I heard the shower turn off and sighed heavily. I knew if I wasn’t out of bed by the time he came back into the room he would be upset. I sat up and kicked my legs off the edge. Peyton’s heavy footsteps trudged towards our room, and I stood up.
• “Kay?” He called from the hallway. “Are you up? We need go to my parents’ house in 10 minutes.” I hated his parents, and they hated me. They were always rude to me, and Peyton never stood up for me. Heaven forbid I stood up for myself, it would be an all-night fight with Peyton that I just didn’t want to deal with.
• “Yeah,” I called out in response “I am getting dressed now.”
• “Well just hurry up. We don’t really have a lot of time.” His footsteps receded into the house, and I sighed again. I grabbed a light blue T-shirt and a pair of cut off shorts from my dresser and quickly dressed myself. I pulled my light brown hair back into a high ponytail and checked my reflection. I had dark bags under my eyes, but they would be easily hidden behind my dark rimmed glasses, just like my bright blue eyes. Peyton never noticed how I looked anyways, so it didn’t really matter. I walked into the hallway and made my way to the kitchen where I could hear Peyton making breakfast. It smelled of bacon and eggs as I entered the room. He didn’t even bother looking up from his plate as I sat at the table; he gestured with his fork to the food in front of me.
• “Eat fast,” he said through a mouthful of eggs “We gotta go.” I looked at the food on my plate. A piece of toast, two over easy eggs, and three thick slices of bacon. I stacked the eggs with the bacon on the toast and took a big bite. Yolk squirted from the sides and oozed at the corners of my mouth, consequently drawing a giggle from my throat. Peyton looked at me with disgust on his face as he shoved a napkin across the table.
• “What’s wrong?” I said laughing through the mouthful of food.
• “Kay stop it,” he glared at me “You’re being childish right now and we don’t have time for that. Just eat your food like a grown up and let’s go.” He chastised me like a child and stood from the table. The giggles had died in my throat and tears stung my eyes. I swallowed the food and wiped my mouth on the back of my hand. The napkin he had offered lay on the table discarded and unused. I stood and slammed my palms on the table. He didn’t care about my feelings so why should I care about his?
• “You know maybe you should lighten up a bit Peyton.” I turned to him, and he stood glaring hotly at me in the doorway. The look in his eyes said don’t push me any further, but every part of me knew I would and so did he. This was our routine. Weeks of hell, visiting his parents, going home, fighting, and then we would make up in the only way we both knew how. It looked like we might skip some steps today…
• “You really want to do this right now?” His voice came out low and dangerous. “Today of all days?” He took a step towards me. Peyton wasn’t a large man, he stood five-foot eight inches, and he was broad shouldered. He had never given up on his physical health throughout the years, so his body was wrapped in lean muscle. He wasn’t large, but he was much bigger than me. He towered over my small five-foot one-inch frame, and as he neared me, I took a step back. With each step closer I retreated further until the dining room walls’ cold surface connected with my back. I couldn’t run. The only escape was right behind him, and I knew I couldn’t evade him. In a breath he was standing in front of me, my eyes glued to his feet in front of me. I didn’t want to look at his face and see the disappointment I knew would be there.
• With one finger he lifted my chin so that our eyes would meet. I was surprised to find a very different emotion in his eyes. Lust. He crashed his mouth into mine and my eyes bulged in surprise. His arms encircled my waist, and he pressed the weight of his body into mine. His tongue delved deep into my mouth and my eyes began to slide shut. As much as I had not expected it, I always craved Peyton’s touch. It was glorious. He made me glow in a way I couldn’t explain. It was enough to make me forgive anything he said or did. I got drunk on the taste of him and I could feel my head swimming. He pulled away abruptly, not stepping back and breathing heavily over me.
• “You can’t do this every time we fight.” I growled, shoving him away “One day it’s not going to work anymore and you’re going to be the one standing cold and alone.” With that I stormed around him and toward the garage. He would still want to go to his parents’ house so why wait around. I snagged my tennis shoes off the rack as I walked out of the house, then I climbed into the passenger seat of his black Mercedes and waited for him to come out. It wasn’t long before he came strolling out of the house; hands in his pockets, not a care in the world, as if none of that had just happened and we left.