Chapter 7 Mia

• When Kayla left, it was the early hours of the morning. I couldn't sleep, each time I closed my eyes I could see my parents lifeless bodies, I could hear Kayla's screams and that hole in her abdomen. So each time I would doze off, I would have a vivid picture of my past life's events but this was not the only thing that bothered me. At the back of my mind, I had a fear, that if I sleep, I would wake up and find that I was hallucinating or something and I would still be in my deathbed in the woods. Or worse, I feared that I would not wake up at all and I didn't want that. So paranoid I stay up the whole night without a wink of sleep. I lay on my back staring at the ceiling and as I did, I had to dispel many thoughts that told me to go to my parents' room just to confirm if they were alive. But I did not, I had to wait until the sunrises and then I would see if everything was the way it was supposed to be.
• .....
• ( knock, knock, knock)
• Mm, I groaned internally. Who was knocking on my door.
• (Knock, knock, knock)
• I truly wanted to shout, " Go away!" I was so tired, my body felt so sluggish and I guessed that the whole thing of staying awake because I was afraid was catching up with me. I couldn't move a muscle.
• " Mia, honey? Are you still asleep?" I heard my mother's voice and my eyes shot wide open. Mom?
• I threw my covers to the other side of the bed and got off the bed. I did not even find my slippers when I rushed to open the door.
• " Mia, honey, I'm coming in-" As she said this, my hand was already on the doorknob.
• " Oh, you are awake? Good morning honey." She said.
• And there it was, her usual good morning smile, a smile that used to greet me every morning for as long as I could remember.
• My heart was hammering in my chest, I couldn't believe it, My mother, she was right in front of me.
• Suddenly the image of her lifeless body popped in my mind and I couldn't help feeling a lump in my throat. My eyes moistened.
• " Mom" I signalled her using sign language.
• " you're here." I said again, this time my hand flew and before I knew it, I was touching her face.
• " Yes, honey, I'm here...is there somewhere else I should be right now?" She asked giving me a worried look.
• " Honey, are you okay, why are your eyes red? Let me check your temperature." She said quickly moving her hand to my forehead.
• Her touch was soft and warm. Instant relief washed over me. She was here, real and alive! I let the tears fall.
• " Mia! What's wrong? Did the neighbour's kid bully you again? Should I talk to them? Don't cry honey." She quickly said very panicked.
• I shook my head but it seemed that there more I did that the more confused she was. In the end, I hugged her.
• She let me stay in her embrace and quietly comforted me, and I stood there crying my eyes out. My mom's warmth and soft hum made me feel like i could treat all that happened as a bad, bad dream but I knew I couldn't, if I did that, then history would repeat itself. If I did that my family would die again and I would be helpless until the end again just like in my previous life. But there thing was I didn't know what to do, what could I possibly do? I was only turning 18 in a few months for god sake and suddenly the fate of my family's survival rode on my shoulders, the pressure suddenly crashed me and I was now crying hysterically. I couldn't breathe, the pain was suffocating me and it was not going anywhere because the fuel was always at the back of my brain, images of their deaths kept flashing through my mind constantly and I couldn't make them stop. Was I going to live with these memories forever? How my parents died? How my little sister died? And how I got rejected? I didn't want any of them, but they came coming back over and over again.
• I broke off the hug and balanced myself against the wall while clasping my chest. The tightness was getting worse, I had to visibly open my mouth to catch as much oxygen as I could not that it helped.
• I slid to the floor with my back against the wall.
• This scared my mother even more than just the imagine of me crying out of nowhere.
• "Mia!"
• " Josh, get up here quick. Somethings wrong with Mia!" My mother called my dad.
• " Mia!"
• My head was getting fuzzy and with all the tiredness from the lack of sleep, I wanted to let the darkness consume me.
• " Mia! Honey, stay with me. Come on breathe with me, come on."
• My mother knelt down and tried to help me breathe in and out, but it was not helping.
• " Josh, hurry!"
• The wooden floor was vibrating, which meant that someone was rushing to us. And indeed, as he got closer, I could hear his heavy footsteps a bit.
• “ I am here! What's going on?”
• “ I don't know, she started crying and then collapsed. I even thought that the kids in this neighbourhood had bullied her, but when i asked her she shook her head. I-” My mother explained in a rush and when I looked up I saw her crying too.
• “ Shhhh. Mary, don't cry, we will figure it out. I am sure it is not that bad”
• “ Mia, I need you to breathe for me, okay? First take deep breaths with me and stop crying, okay? I am sure we can fix whatever it is that is bothering you, honey.” My dad said with a reassuring smile. It was the same smile she always used to hide when he was worried and it made me think that, if that day I was not late, would he have smiled me like this and tell me that everything was going to be okay? I bet he would have. He would have smiled even though he was facing death and tell me that everything would be fine, I could imagine him doing this which made my heart hurt more, if I failed to protect them in my past life, how would I turn out this time?