Chapter 42

• Cole
• I stare at the house for a second as I contemplate whether I should turn back. I’ve been sitting here for the last twenty minutes, and although I have to do this, I always promised myself I wouldn’t enter this place again. It’s filled with so many horrible memories I wish I could bury—memories of her abuse and my inability to protect her all those years. Her smile pops into my head, and I can’t help the joy and peace it brings me. I never thought I would be lucky enough to see that smile again. After that night, I ran away because I couldn’t face her. I couldn’t face the hatred that would be in her eyes when she looked at me. But she smiled at me. She doesn’t hate me. She doesn’t love you anymore, either. A voice says in my head, crushing the joy I felt earlier. That’s right; she doesn’t love me. She’s in love with someone else. I am happy she found love, and from how he acts, it’s clear he loves her, too. I am happy for her. Or I want to be happy for her.
• But I still want her to choose me. That’s why I didn’t tell her when I saw him outside. And also why I turned off her phone, knowing he would call. I can’t let her go. I’m holding on to the small that if they break up, she’ll find me. But I have to let her go. If I want to be in her life, I have to let go of my romantic feelings for her. If I don’t, I’ll become like my brother, and I promise myself that would never happen. I want to do one last thing for her before I go back, and that’s why I’m back where I promised I would never return because I would do anything for her.  Okay, let’s do this. I slip out of the car and make my way to the front door. A feeling of disgust overwhelms me as I reach out to ring the doorbell. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to see these people again or walk through these hallways, but I need to know the truth for Brandi. The doorbell chimes, and then a minute later, a maid opens the door. She stares at me as if she’s seen a ghost.