Chapter 48

• A sudden wave of dizziness washed over me, causing a flurry of dark spots to dance before my eyes as the room spun menacingly around me. Filled with trepidation, I turned my gaze toward Andrew, the fear constricting my throat like a vice. I knew what I had to do—compartmentalize my emotions, push them aside. Long ago, I had taken the initiative to research fear, convinced that if I could understand it, I might find a way to survive the relentless punishments that awaited me.
• What I discovered was that fear existed in various forms. The first type I encountered was rational fear, the kind triggered by an imminent threat lurking in the shadows, a visceral response to genuine danger. Then there was primal fear—a more instinctual form, hardwired into our brains, a raw survival instinct arising from the depths of our being. Lastly, I learned about irrational fear, a confusing and often nonsensical emotion, exemplified by phobias that seemed entirely detached from reality.
• In those harrowing moments spent in the locker room, I felt the full brunt of every single one of those fears at once. A powerful, overwhelming tide of dread surged through me, so fierce that I sensed I had no chance in hell of resisting it.