Chapter 8 Fan Talk

• Soon my mother found out about my relationship with Leo and somehow it made her happy. I think deep down he just wanted me not to have a life like hers. Little did she know that I had no feelings for Leo, so if he were my husband one day, I would have a life like hers: sad and loveless. I was a smart girl, but in love affairs I was naive. I knew my prince charming hadn't arrived yet. and I didn't even know if I believed him. There was never a boy who made my heart beat faster, although I tried to get involved several times. But I was young. I was 19, soon to be 20. I had so many goals for my life that I didn't even know if there was room for a man. I was also afraid of falling in love with a handsome man who wasn't a good person, like my brother Kevin, for example. Or even marry a good person and in time he'll become like my father: a completely irresponsible man who was just a pain in the ass. I loved Adolfo Lee because he was my father. But if I were his wife, I might act like my mother. Had my mother ever loved another man? Had my father been involved in the past with another woman? How did the two end up getting together, getting married and having three children, when they couldn't even stand each other? Even in the past, in some rare moments when he wasn't addicted, there was a certain respect. But love... There never was.
• Among the conversations with Kim during the week, I had others with Leo. Now he called me every day, or texted me to see if I was okay. Both he and Kim were confused to learn that I had been selected for the first stage of employment at the castle. But they also worried that I was an anti-monarchist. As much as I didn't like the monarchy, let alone the way Queen Anne ran the kingdom, I wasn't stupid enough to be discovered. Besides, despite everything, I needed that job. It must have been a high salary, not to mention the prestige of being the right-hand man to the queen of Noriah. That would guarantee me a good job anywhere after I got out of there. So I needed to take advantage of my father's opportunity and help. I think if it hadn't been for him to have personally spoken to King Alfred I would never have been chosen among so many girls.
• On Sunday night I was anxious. Going to the castle wasn't something I did often. And I had never been in there. Knowing that my father somehow knew the king also made me a little apprehensive, as I wasn't sure what was really going on or the past between them.
• Jornal da Monarquia had announced that it had closed the pre-selection for the position due to the large number of resumes received, which ended up causing problems with the kingdom's data network, causing congestion. So those who had not signed up in that short period would have no more opportunity to do so. I doubted anyone who wanted the job hadn't applied on the first day.
• I didn't sleep well during the night due to anxiety. On Monday night we were also going to meet with the new anti-monarchy group and that scared me.
• When my clock woke up I wasn't even sure if I had slept. My body was a little sore and my eyes hurt. I took an ice bath. When I looked in the mirror I looked horrible. I even had dark circles under my eyes. Kim had taught me how to do great makeup that could cover up all that tired look back in my pale eyes. But the letter said “no makeup”. I took the concealer and was in doubt. Concealer would be makeup? Who would survive without concealer? For me it was a basic item. When in doubt, I didn't. It looked like the point was to be horrible. Could she never wear makeup to be a lady-in-waiting? There was no point in questioning myself... I would only know when I got there.
• I put on a pair of straight cut pants, dark, if a thick fabric, but not jeans. A white shirt with no details and a blazer of the same color were completed with a pair of comfortable black pumps. I wouldn't wear that outfit for any occasion other than trying to get a job at the castle. Go out without makeup, concealer or lipstick? It was the first time. If Kim saw me on the street, she wouldn't let me go out with a clean, sleepy face. I was just awful.
• At breakfast I was treated to a piece of bread in addition to the milk. I didn't answer. It was great. Mom made wonderful breads. And soon, when he got the job at the castle, I would give him everything he needed to feast us daily. Or maybe even pay a maid to help her in some way.
• Before I went out the door she called me, gave me a kiss and said:
• - Good luck.
• - Thanks Mom.
• I was walking out the gate when Leon ran up to me and hugged me tightly, squeezing my stomach.
• - I love you, Kat.
• - I love you too, Leon. I'll get this job... For you... For all of us.
• - I know... They will love you in the castle.
• I laughed:
• - I don't think so, honey.
• - Everyone loves Kat.
• I walked to the stop and boarded the bus to the castle. The trip there took almost 1 hour. And there wasn't a vacant space in any armchair. I realized that there were only girls there. Certainly all my opponents of the job. Some knew each other and talked. I thought about how many different stories there were in that same place. We all needed the job for the same reason: money. If not for that, who would want to accompany the unpalatable Queen Anne Mari?
• I got off at the stop and soon I was among the crowd of girls of different ages. I wasn't sure of the maximum age, but it felt like 25 years old. And the minimum 18. But there were some girls who looked more than 25 and others less than 18. Several wore makeup. And the clothes were of the most varied. From short skirts to party dresses? Had each received a different letter? I think so. And mine was definitely the weirdest. The street was very busy. I didn't know if it was always like this or just that day because of the influx of candidates. The street we were walking on was made of small white stones, looking designed and then individually placed on the ground, they were so perfect. My heels floated as I walked. Soon I saw the castle, imposing, enormous, full of pomp. It wasn't a building like old castles. It was more modern, but still brought a bit of romanticism and bucolicism. I had only been there a few times. I'm not sure if the interview would be inside the castle or outside and what exactly it would be. But I was anxious. The great bars of the gate were open and at the door were several guards, wearing Noriah Sul's insignia on their uniforms. The insignia was two swords crossed in a shining crown with an open book underneath. I laughed. How much irony in the open book, since education was for few in that place. It was even used as a way to reduce birth rates. Was it just me who thought that way? Was there another woman there who would challenge Queen Anne's way of ruling?
• A few long lines formed at one of the castle doors. I don't think the main entrance was there. How long would we be there, waiting? What if it was summer and the scorching sun was over our heads?
• - How long will this last? – asked the girl who was in front of me. She was addressing me.
• - Well, I thought the same thing. I said smiling. “It would be nice to find someone there to talk to while it lasted.
• She smiled back and held out her hand.
• - Sofia.
• - Kat.
• - Just to be in this pre-selection we are privileged, right?
• - In a way, I think so.
• - I really need the job.
• - I think all, no? I said smiling.
• - Yea...
• - In your letter did you say to come without makeup, nail polish or hair dye?
• - Yea. She said with a loud laugh. – I found it strange.
• - Me too... Could it be that the recommendation didn't work for everyone?
• - Apparently not. Or some just ignored it.
• - Wait... Will they give us something to eat?
• She laughed:
• - Is playing! The castle wouldn't have the money to provide lunch for all these women.
• She was right. I was so picky about the monarchy that I sometimes took it hard.
• - Do you... Know someone from the castle? she asked me in a lower voice.
• I didn't quite understand her question, but I replied:
• - No...
• - It seems that meeting someone here helps a lot.
• - Do you know someone? I asked back.
• - Yea. – She said hiding her mouth behind her hand so that no one would hear.
• - Who do you know?
• - One of the cooks... She's my aunt. – she said proudly.
• - That's great! Do you think this can give you an advantage in some way?
• - Hope so. She said shrugging her shoulders. “If I don't get the job, I'd be happy to go into the castle and see one of the princes.
• Then another girl joined the conversation:
• - I don't want the job. I just came to try to find Prince Dereck. I think I would die if I saw him in front of me. – she said spoilingly.
• We started laughing playfully at the way the girl spoke.
• "But... You're wearing makeup..." Sofia observed.
• - As I said, I just want to see the prince passing me by. - Said the girl seriously.
• - Are you serious? I asked.
• - Looks like not? - she said. – What if I find Prince Dereck without a lipstick? There is no possibility. I even have one in my pocket. If I see him, I'll put more and more until he gets close to me.
• We laughed again. The girl was funny and didn't seem to lie. Indeed, her intention was clear: to see Prince Dereck.
• - I would give my last breath of life for Magnus. - Sofia said rolling her eyes. “I've never seen anyone so beautiful in my life.
• - But... He hardly ever appears in the media. - I observed.
• - He was always more discreet than Deck. - Said the other.
• - Deck? Who is Deck. – I asked confused.
• Now they laughed at me:
• - What kingdom do you live in?
• I looked like I didn't understand.
• - Deck is Dereck's nickname. – explained Sofia.
• - Wow, I never heard that. - I confessed.
• - I heard that Magnus doesn't have a cell phone...
• I took the focus off what they were talking about and wondered if they really called him Deck. Wouldn't that be a more intimate nickname? Why did they call him that? Magnus not have a cell phone? Surely it was all in the heads of fans of the princes of Noriah. Apparently only I wasn't one. I don't think I would even know them if they passed me by.