Chapter 5 Shadows Of The Past

• Chapter 5
• Miles POV
• I sat behind my desk in my office, staring blankly at the image of Mimilia casually resting on my drink shelf.
• Mimilia's smile gleamed from the frame as if she were real, and she was right here with me, although I can't remember the last time I saw her smile. My gaze locked onto her sparkling eyes, and I suddenly felt lost.
• My mind whirled with conflicting emotions. Guilt. Hurt. Sadness. Betrayal. All swirled together.
• I couldn't decipher what I felt...Only that it would be Guilt.
• Mimilia's laughter echoed in my memory, even in the times when I hurt her, she would try as much as possible to be cheerful and happy.
• Her gentle touch most times on me, the little food I could spare her to touch me before unleashing the monster inside of me. Her loving gaze, my chest ached at the thought of it.
• How could I have failed her? Why did I let her down?
• My eyes dropped to the desk. Shame washed over me. I cannot separate my mind from the look of terror in her eyes the night before.
• My fist clenched. I wanted to turn back time and make different choices like the night before; I would have said some things and made some orders, but unfortunately for me, life doesn't always work that way.
• Regret gnawed at me. I lifted the photo. Tracing Mimilia's smile with my finger, it was the last time I had ever seen her smile so beautifully and genuinely. It was a beautiful photo, one which kept my heart mesmerized and flattered.
• Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes. "I'm sorry," I whispered.
• For everything, for not being enough, for letting her down.
• The silence in the room felt oppressive, heavy with unspoken words and unresolved emotions.
• I took a deep breath, trying to calm the storm within.
• But Mimilia's gaze held me captive. Haunted me. Reminding me of what I'd lost. And what I could never regain.
• I slumped back in my chair, overwhelmed. Emotions swirled inside me like a vortex, except this feeling was new and different from the ones felt earlier. Regret. Shame. Self-loathing.
• Each one of the feelings stabbed at my heart, and the mistake haunted me, cheating on Mimilia with Laura, her best friend, the one person Mimilia trusted.
• My mind replayed that fateful night, Laura's face flashed in my eyes, her seductive smile, my weakness, I had always found Laura attractive and more feminine than Mimilia, and that night when she caught inside the house kissing and caressing each other so tenderly and warmly, all I could see was mimilia's devastated face, her tears, her anguish.
• My chest constricted. How could I have done that? To the one who loved me so dearly? To my mate?
• The weight of my guilt crushed me. I chased Mimilia out of the pack. Humiliated, Heartbroken, Betrayed.
• My actions destroyed her. And our bond. Would she ever forgive me? Would she ever forget I treated her this way?
• I buried my face in my hands. Why did I do it? Why did I throw away her love? For a fleeting pleasure, A moment's weakness?
• My thoughts tormented me. What if I could turn back time? And make it right? Maybe Apologize and Explain?
• But life didn't offer second chances. Only regret, and longing.
• I lifted my gaze to Mimilia's photo...Her smile now seemed tinged with sadness in the crooked shadows of my mind. As if she knew, even then, my eyes stung.
• Tears streamed down my face. And for the first time, I admitted it: I was the one who broke the relationship she had been trying to build so hard for years.
• Not Mimilia. Not Laura. Me. My mistake. My weaknesses. My failures.
• The realization hit me like a ton of bricks.
• I kept on staring at Mimilia's photo unable to bring myself to look away, my mind reeling.
• For years, I'd ruled the Silver Pack with strength and wisdom and no mistakes, no regrets.
• Or so I thought. Now, doubt crept in like a thief in the night stealing my confidence and my conviction.
• I questioned everything e, especially that fateful decision w, which was banning us from our home from our pack.
• Was it just? Or was it a mistake born of anger and hurt pride?
• I remembered the pain. The shock. The feeling of betrayal, and I felt if I just forgave her, it would sting her heart for the rest of her life, and she wouldn't look at me as her husband anymore; I want nothing less of that respect and fear she upholds for me.
• But I chased her away. And now? And now I felt empty, so lost and uncertain.
• For the first time, I saw my actions through Mimilia's eyes. Pain. Rejection. Abandonment. She had always been a strong woman, taking in every affliction I inflicted on her, but this last doing tore her apart; I saw how she felt and looked at me; it broke her resolve.
• My heart ached. What had I done? Why had I pushed her away? Was my pride worth losing her?
• I stood up, pacing the room, trying to make sense of my emotions and my thoughts but the more I walked, the more lost I became in my mind and my heart.
• I tried to convince myself that she deserved it. She had to pay for her father's sins; his betrayal, his defiance. Threatening my authority.was a stupid thing to do, but he did it anyway, and so punishing her was necessary.
• Just. I remembered the fire in her eyes anytime I went hard on her, the defiance, the spirit, and I hardened my heart tel, ling myself it was fair, that she suffered for her father's deeds.
• I pushed the guilt away, focusing on my justification, her father's treachery, and her challenge to my rule, Mimiliaas collateral damage, a necessary sacrifice.
• I repeated this to myself. Trying to believe it. But the memory of her smile and her laughter still lin, geared taunts, reminding me of what I'd lost and what I'd destroyed.
• I stopped in front of the window, gazing out into the morning wondering where Mimilia could have gone, where she would be, If she was safe and happy.
• I left the window, tired of watching the activities from below, and reached for the Cognac, needing a reprieve from my thoughts, my guilt, and my regret.
• The amber liquid glimmered in the glass. I poured myself a half-filled glass, and the aroma wafted up, Rich, Smooth, and Inviting.
• I raised the glass to my lips t, took a sip, and e warmth spread through my chest.
• A fleeting comfort. I closed my eyes, letting the liquor work its magic drowning my sorrows temporarily.
• But even the Cognac's soothing effects couldn't block Mimilia's face. Hermle, her tears, her eyes, all of them haunted.
• I took another sip, feeling the burn, the distraction, and my mind began to wander.
• I finished the glass feeling emptier, the Cognac's warmth faded, leaving me with nothing but my thoughts and my regret, my longing.
• I set the glass down. Hard. The sound echoed through the room.
• I stood up p, acing again t, trying to shake off the emotions b, but they clung to me like a shadow r, reminding me of what I'd lost, what I'd thrown away.
• Suddenly, I stopped, there was a strange knock at my door; I Weighed and walked back to my seat.
• "Enter," I called out.
• The door creaked open, and laLauratood was in the doorway.
• A vision of seduction, ber curves hugged by the tight dress, her eyes sparkled with invitation. Just the distraction I needed from Mimilia, from guilt, and regret.
• My gaze roamed over Laura's body, lustful hunger stirred within me.
• I beckoned her in. "Close the door," I commanded.
• Laura's smile hinted at secrets..She obeyed, her movements fluid. Sultry.
• I poured myself another glass of wine, offering her one, but she declined, her eyes never leaving mine.
• My gaze followed hers to Mimilia's photo. I watch her expression twist; jealousy flashes in her eyes.
• For a moment, I thought she'd storm out but then, her face softened, her eyes locked onto mine, and I knew I had her.
• My allure was hard to resist. Even when I didn't intend to use it.
• Laura's lips curled into a sly smile. She sauntered closer, her hand tracing my chest.
• "Miles, you're still thinking about her?" Her voice dripped with venom.
• I didn't answer, and aura'seyes sparked with anger, but I saw past it to the desire beneath.
• I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her close, and my lips brushed against her ear.
• "Let's forget about Mimilia."
• Laura's breath caught. Her body melted into mine.
• My touch ignited a fire burning away her jealousy and her doubts.
• She surrendered to my charm. My kiss. Our lips clashed in a passionate yet intense way, and for a moment, Mimilia faded, and all that mattered was Laura, her touch, her taste.
• Laura's hands roamed my body and mine explored hers.
• But my mind betrayed me, Mimilia's face flashed behind my eyelids.
• I pushed the thoughts away, focusing on Laura's touch.
• Laura's moans filled the room, and my desire raged. We stumbled toward the couch, falling onto the cushions, our bodies entwined in a frenzy of skin and sweat.
• Laura's hands wrapped around me p,
• ulling me closer our bodi
• es moved as one.
• In a blur of pleasure but the guilt lingered a constant ache.
• Afterward, Laura snuggled close. Sated. Content. I held her mechanically.