Chapter 46 A Piece Of Her My Mind

• I feel better now, maybe I could talk with him The lie I told myself as a travel back to Seoul for a meeting. It was such a nice day as the sun peaked above the trees as if they are following me on my ride. The air might be a little dusty but it is bearable as compared to most days-everything is fine. I checked my phone and it was around one o'clock when the meeting was done, it is such a productive day but James is not there. If you are familiar with the type of day that follows after the storm, it is that type of day. Families are having picnics in the park and I stayed to watch them for an hour or two because it is such a pity to travel back and not enjoy the day- an excuse I tell myself. But, no matter how I deny it I know what makes me stay in Seoul, I am waiting for him to call, to meet me up even though I do not know what I would do if he would. It is annoying how love is the most stubborn of all emotions, I do not even understand how I have the guts to feel this way after everything I found out my father would have disowned me there in heaven because of how stupid I am here on earth. I really love him The thought that runs to my mind, but I will not call him- I shouldn't. Because what would I say to the son of my father's killer? It is very hard to look at him in the eyes without remembering how my father died- the last look at his eyes as the car tumbles and crashes before my eyes. It is impossible to not be sad, to not feel pain, and no not feel guilt- It is impossible! These are the thoughts that kept my mind busy as I watch how other people in the park are happy with their lives so opposite to mine. I kept on having these thoughts until it is almost six in the evening. I have decided to take a small bite at my favorite restaurant around the corner before going home because I don't know when will I be able to visit Seoul again since I requested for all my next meetings to be virtual. It was supposed to be just a quick meal but it rained heavy, that is the time when I realized that I did not bring my umbrella. I blamed the bright sun in the morning that made my hopes up only to betray me with rain in the night. It is now eight forty-five in the evening, the supposedly quick meal because a full course with deserts because of the rain. There are still rain showers but I need to go on my way now or I will miss the last train back to my secluded apartment. The night air is cold and unwelcoming, along with the rain showers is the slippery pavement which would cause harm to anyone clumsy enough to slide because of it. I am running late, that I am familiar with the neighborhood and I know a shortcut to but I am not sure if I would consider it a good thing tonight because the streetlights on that way are blinking. So much for the taxes, I thought. I sane person would have turned around and chosen either the longer route or the expensive one that involves a hundred dollar bill on a taxi, well I would choose the practical one- three lamposts on a short catwalk can't change my mind. One lampost, level one done! Great. Two lamposts, almost there. But before I reached the third one, I felt that someone is watching me and it is not a good emotion to feel at this moment in the middle of blinking lamposts with no one around at almost nine in the evening- no, it is not a situation you would want yourself to be into. I looked behind and saw what seems to be a tall man on a black hoodie and mask that hastily tried to hide behind the blinking lampost that I just passed. My heart is beating fast and loud and I am preparing to either run or fight, the latter not my forte' so I just reached for my phone to call the cops but my clumsiness took over that would have caused my life! My phone slipped out of my hand and into a dark corner of the catwalk where I could hardly see. The steps are becoming closer and I do not know what to do next. I decided to leave my phone and run because I can always buy a new phone but not a new life! I am ready to shout when the man grabbed my hand from behind, I might not be a good fighter but my voice could definitely wake a neighborhood. The only regret I have at this moment is the fact that I was not able to tell Kyle how much I love him. That at the bottom of my heart, I know even if it would take some time, I will still be able to love him- because that is all I know. I shouted with all my might but the hand of the person covered my mouth, my eyes are closed. "Angel. Angel!" I heard a soft familiar voice, maybe I am hallucinating already. Am I already dead? "Don't kill me please, I will give you whatever you want. please do not kill me," I bargained with my eyes closed because I am too afraid to see the face of my killer as I mumbled these words under his hands over my mouth. My heart is beating fast, just as anyone might have been in this situation. I muster all my remaining courage and grab what might have been my last chance to see the face in front of me and maybe bargain for my life. It took me several seconds to realize amidst my confused mind and racing heart, "Kyle?" I asked in a confused soft tone that was still a hint of how nervous I was. The man pulled his mask down while still holding my mouth. It is really Kyle with his eyes full of sadness, confusion, and anger. "Why the f*ck would you walk here? Can't you see the lights are broken? Are you f*cking stupid?" Kyle's tone of voice is his usual sarcasm towards me and I cannot deny the fact that somehow I missed it. I missed it so much that it did not go on to me as sarcasm but rather on her ears it sounded as sweet melodies of care and love. But it is not enough. With all my might, I bit Kyle's hand that cover my mouth. Kyle shouted in pain though it did not hurt as much as his heart for the past three weeks. "Why are you following me? Are you a psycho?!" I said in a stern voice, looking at Kyle's eyes for a matter of seconds, only a matter of seconds just to make Kyle think I am serious. Just a matter of seconds because if it would be more than that she might do something that I might regret – I might be able to show him the true colors that I am struggling to hide in front of this man right now. Kyle walked closer. One step. Two Steps. It is too close and it is making it hard to control my urges, to control myself. I pushed Kyle but he didn't even budge. "Let me go!" "Why?" I was too is stunned by the question, as if he did not know why I am acting that way. "Why? What do you mean why? You should know why! You..." I am not able to finish her sentence. It was all so fast. Fellings are really hard to control, no matter how hard you try- just like a tied steed they will break out and set themselves free whether you like it or not. Kyle pulled me close to his body. Pushed my head closed to his. Just like a marathon runner thirsty for water after a run, Kyle devoured my lips. At first, I refused, I struggled to move out of his arms but Kyle's strength along with my own heart and body failed me. I couldn't deny it anymore. The dark alley with its broken lights witnessed our heat exchange as our lips clearly showed how we both struggled to pass the last three weeks. I was all too fast, I can't even remember the name of this motel or how we checked in or even find it in the first place- but here we are. Kyle's eyes give off the clear message that he will get what his two weeks of waiting are worth- he bit my lips and I pressed his thighs because of that because it made me moan. Kyle almost ripped his clothes in haste as he continues to kiss my lips while I am undressing mirror his actions. Kyle's hands ran wild over my body as his lips runs from my mouth to my ears my forehead and my neck as if a bee sipping a flower's nectar, and those kisses made me wild. My hands did their fair share as if they have a mind of their own as they run in between Kyle's thighs and play with a hard thing inside his boxers- I hear him whisper, more. That is all I need to hear then my body took over me, all the sleepless nights I spent crying, and all the thoughts that ran on my head- it all went down to this me sucking his d*ck and linking his b*lls and hearing him moan as I run my tongue up and down and swirl around it. We share each other's emotions that made the air-condition not enough to kill the heat we let ourselves get lost in this moment. This moment alone where the truth is not as important as our moans, our sweat, and our dance. I hope we can stay lost on this moment forever, and impractical thing to say or even though off- but that is what I want at this moment. But when it is all said and done, when all our heat and sweat along with the fast beating of our hearts are moderated- the truth had slapped me hard. Kyle is sleeping and I was about to visit the comfort room when his phone lit-It was a message. A message that would have been great if sent on another time. A message I wished I did not read. A message I lowkey wished is being referred to me. Steven Do not forget, engagement rehearsal tomorrow at 8AM.