Chapter 1 "I know you were trouble when you walked in…"

• "I don't love you anymore."
• This sound still lingers in my ears, like the last song syndrome. The only thing I was able to say at that moment was the word "Okay."
• This isn't the first time I heard those words, but every time it hits different, it makes me feel numb and more indifferent than the first time these words are said.
• And this is how our story started... as the other one ends...
• "I LOVED HIM WITH ALL OF MY HEART. I GAVE HIM EVERYTHING I HAVE; THERE IS NOTHING MORE I CAN GIVE!" I blurted out of dismay while having coffee with my best friend, Kyle.
• "Stop crying! You look so F*CK*ng terrible," he said.
• Kyle is never comforting. He is not the type of friend you should count on when sugarcoating and making you feel better. Kyle is not that type of friend; I can never emphasize that enough. He is the one who says things straight to the point! Kyle will tell you what you should hear, whether you like it or not, and that is what I like about him! He is always genuine, he might not be kind, but he is always the sincere and honest friend you can rely on.
• "You know, babe, here is all I can say, and you better listen because my time is so expensive, and you keep on wasting it! You do not deserve this! There are so many fishes in the sea. Stop your obsession over a F*CK*ng SHRIMP!" Kyle said in a tone that was calm but stern.
• "But I love him! It is not something I chose or something I can easily control, as they say, Love is Blind," I retorted.
• "You know what, I am done here! This is a waste of my precious life and valuable time! Go chase after pot of gold at the end of the elusive rainbow, the hell I care, "Kyle responded in a cold tone and was about to leave the coffee shop where we were.
• "Where are you going?" I asked while grabbing his arms in an attempt to stop him from leaving. "You are supposed to console me and listen to my stories. That's what friends are for," I said in a firm tone.
• "Friend? Friends listen to each other. We are not Friends!" Kyle returned as he stormed out of the coffee shop.
• I ran after him after I paid our order, this guy walked so fast! He was nowhere to be seen when I got out of the Coffee Shop, I tried to call and message him, but he was not responding to any of it.
• I've decided to just go home and finish the novel I am writing; by the way, I work as a Writer on a web novel application, and not to brag, my work is always on the Top 10. I love to write about femme fatale characters who are strong and untamable, women who are good at everything they do and are loved by many men. Men who will die for them and who are willing to give everything they have even for the tiniest attention, the slightest sign of them being loved by the main character. I hope this is also true for me. Well, at most, I am good at everything I do. People call me intelligent and beautiful who seem to have the "Midas' Touch." I am a consistent honor student, and I also slay pageants; this is why most people will think that I am living an easy life. Well, at some aspects, yes, except for one -Love!
• For some reason, I always end up falling in love with assholes! I mean, I do not even know why. I seldom have suitors; people say men get intimidated by me and my achievements, and I am not sure if that is true, but that is how things seem. I had my first real suitor in college; he is my first and only boyfriend with whom I have had an on-and-off relationship for five years now. He cheated on me, called me boring, ignored me throughout our relationship. Still, for some reason, I am tied to him just as an elephant is connected to the pole he was stuck into while growing up- I know I can get out of this abusive relationship, but it is easier said than done. I always end up either clinging to him or accepting him regardless of the situation. I know this is stupid, and I should be the one suffering, but I can't help it.
• I think the Black Pink song Kill this Love before It kills me too, and I know Kyle is frustrated with me. He is always the one who picks me up when I fall. Whenever I need a drink or when I just need someone to talk to. He never comforts me the way my other friends do, but he is always accurate and on point. Sometimes, we need a friend who will not sugarcoat our stupidity and tell us up front that we are messed up and that we deserve better. He was always there for me when I needed him. He is such a good friend, if he is not gay, I would have married him already, but he doesn't like girls. I would admit that I have this gut feeling that he likes me; however, that is RIDICULOUS, so I would just drive away that illusion and look at things from an objective point of view. Do you know what destroys friendships almost 100% of the time? When the line between friendship and romance is blurry, I do not want to lose this friendship; that is why I always look at things objectively, but let me tell you a secret, sometimes he makes my heart flutter.
• That will be our little secret! You should not tell anyone. I do not want things to be awkward between my friend and me. A friend should know when to not cross boundaries.