Chapter 5 Could He Be Impotent Now?

• Chloe POV
• Why has my husband suddenly lost interest in having sex? What am I doing wrong? It's like he abruptly stopped. If it happened gradually, I could understand. But it's been over four months since we last slept together. How can I believe him when he says, "I'm exhausted"?
• Even on weekends, he says the same thing. What kind of work is he doing on the weekends? I'm at home with him, and most likely he's just watching his favorite sport on TV. I've never heard of watching television draining someone's energy. I even suggested that I take charge and make it enjoyable for him, but he rejected the idea. Am I that repulsive? I'm only forty-three years old, and he's just two years older than me. We're still at an age where we should have sexual desire. Or could he be impotent now?
• I've even gone as far as touching his cock early in the morning before he wakes up, and I noticed that it is as hard as usual. Or does that not count? Maybe it would be better if I confided in my best friend, Nelly. Perhaps she's going through something similar in her own home, who knows? Or am I just overly obsessed with sex? Do I have excessive sex hormones? I don't understand myself anymore. Let me call Nelly to come and see me right away. It's time to open up and seek her advice. I've been telling her how I don't understand Derek anymore. Maybe opening up to her will provide some helpful suggestions.
• I picked up my phone and called Nelly. She has been my closest friend since the early days of my marriage. We first met at the prenatal care center years ago, and ever since, we've been so close because of our shared negative rhesus factor.
• "Hi Nelly, how's your day going?"
• "I'm fine..."
• "Where are you?" I interrupted, as my thoughts were running wild.
• "I'm still at work."
• "Could you please come to my house on your way home? I have something important to discuss with you. Please!"
• "Why do you have to beg me? Of course, I'll come. Aren't we friends? What are friends for if not to help each other?"
• "Thank you so much."
• I ended the call and glanced at the clock. It was 3:19 pm, and Nelly usually finishes work by 4 pm. I had less than an hour to see her. I felt impatient, and the wait for Nelly seemed never-ending.
• Leaving my bedroom, I headed to the living room and poured myself a glass of alcoholic wine. Since I moved into my new home, alcohol has become my way of coping. When I consumed enough, I would doze off, but the next day, the pain of Derek abandoning me would hit me hard.
• With my eyes closed, I was on the couch when I heard the doorbell. That was quick. I stood up and checked the wall clock, realizing that an hour and thirty minutes had passed. This is why I love drinking alcohol - it makes time seem shorter. I didn't even realize when I fell asleep, and before I reached the door, I heard Nelly's voice.
• "I'm here, my darling." I quickly opened the door.
• "I've been ringing the doorbell."
• "I'm sorry," we embraced. "I had a few glasses of wine, and I didn't realize I fell asleep. Please come inside."
• She entered while I waited to lock the door.
• "How was your day?" she asked as she sat down, and I joined her in the living room.
• "Not great. Same old mood."
• "Hmm... didn't you go to work today?" she asked.
• "How many times do I have to tell you that I had to stop going to work? Since I work at my husband's company, I had to quit. Every time I see him, I can't hold back my tears. It's so painful..."
• "Yes, you've told me. But staying away from him won't help the situation," she added, and there was silence as I stared at her, struggling to focus. How many glasses of wine did I even have? I wondered. When the silence became awkward, Nelly asked,
• "Are you okay? Don't you think you need to see a doctor?"
• "I don't need any doctor. I need my husband." I lowered my face to the floor and, a few seconds later, lifted it again.
• "I called you, Nelly, to tell you something I haven't mentioned since my husband's strange behavior started. I really want to open up, and I don't know if this is happening in every home." Each statement I made ended with a brief pause, and Nelly's eyes were on me.
• "When was the last time your husband had sex with you?"
• Nelly couldn't help but giggle.
• "Chloe, are you drunk? You've never said something like this before."
• "Yes, I know. I've never said something like this before. That's what's troubling me. Just answer me honestly. I'm telling you, your answer might be my psychological cure. Maybe I'm not the only one going through this."
• "Okay, I will," Nelly replied, but she was still smiling. It was unusual for me to say something like this to her, and it amused her, but I was dead serious.
• "So, when?" I asked, my eyes focused and sober. When she saw how serious I was, she refrained from laughing.
• "We have sex once a week, or occasionally twice a week depending on his mood and if I want it."
• "That's why you could laugh so easily," I thought, and she knew I had something on my mind.
• "What are you thinking, Chloe?"
• "It's been over four months since my husband had sex with me."
• "What? Why? Is he sick?" She was shocked.
• "No."
• "Was there a misunderstanding?" She inquired.
• "No."
• "So why the sudden change?"
• "That's what I've been asking myself every day."
• "Don't you think he's seeing someone else?"
• "Even if he is seeing someone without my knowledge, would that stop him from being intimate with me? Although, I haven't seen him with anyone, or he's hiding it from me."
• "Besides the fact that he doesn't sleep with you, what else has changed in him?"
• "Nothing. Absolutely nothing. We still eat together when I was living in his house. We mostly sleep in the same bed, and occasionally he sleeps in his private room, which he suddenly barred my daughter and me from entering. He never seemed moody or sad. For the past four to six months, it felt like I was living with my blood brother in the same house. There was no affection from him. No more morning kisses or moments before bedtime. I was sick and tired of his strange behavior. I know you've been asking me why I just moved out of my husband's house."
• "Have you secretly visited his doctor to find out if he's having health issues?" Nelly asked.
• "That's a good suggestion. I've even gone as far as touching his private area early in the morning. If it's hard, it's still as hard as usual. I don't know what's wrong. Or maybe the days of not having sex have arrived?"
• "No, both of you are still in your mid-forties."
• "Now you see what I'm going through. If I were a widow, it would be understandable. It wouldn't hurt as much."
• "I totally understand you. Now I see that it's not right to judge without knowing the full story. I never thought this was what you were dealing with. I swear to God, this is emotionally painful. You know what? I suggest you secretly see his doctor. Or if you had told me earlier when you were still living together, I would have suggested buying sex pills and putting them in his drink or food, just to see what happens."
• "Oh my goodness, what an interesting suggestion."
• "Is it possible to do it now?" she asked.
• "I doubt it. But first, I need to see his doctor. If there's something he's hiding from me, I'll find out."
• "When are you going to see his doctor?"
• "Tomorrow," I replied.
• "How likely is it that his doctor will reveal your husband's health condition, if there is any? By the way, I have another plan," Nelly said.
• "What plan?"
• "Don't worry, I'll be here this weekend, and we can discuss it. Does your daughter Ella know about this?"
• "No."
• About thirty minutes later, Nelly got up and hugged me. She now understood my pain, and she whispered in my ear,
• "There will be a source of hope this weekend. I promise you that."
• What kind of hope is she talking about? I wondered.