As I finished my words, I stared at his face, hard.
This startled him. The look on his face was simply priceless, worthy of a picture frame.
He had a strange expression, as if it was laced with traces of guilt.
What could he possibly be feeling guilty about?
I had thought that Sang Qi had nothing to do with this, but the expression on Mr. Dong’s face once again aroused my suspicion.
A mere instant later, he recovered, “Ms. Xia, make no unfounded conjectures, Sang Qi is not the type of person you think.”
“So you know Sang Qi too?”
“How could I not know someone as great as he is?” It seemed that Mr. Dong has no wish to continue the fight. He tossed something at me, it was a phone. “If you ever get bored, feel free to taobao around, do some shopping, or something. I’m sure the card associated to the phone would have enough to cover whatever you could think of, and more.”
With that, Mr. Dong turned and left, and before he goes he made it clear to Ms. Cai and Jin that they were to watch me as closely as possible, and keep me out of any more troubles.
After he left, I threw that phone he left behind as far away from me as possible.
He probably knew everything that has happened in these few days.
I refused the clothes that Sang Qi bought for me and asked him for money instead, and I conned Yao Keyi.
In his heart, I am a woman that loved money above all else.
All the money that I asked of them, I deserved them.
But not this. I will have none of his money. He wanted to buy my child with his money, but I’ll never let him have his way.
The next morning, I woke up to the sound of someone talking from below. I looked out the window, and saw that someone had come to deliver the food.
Usually, Ms. Cai would go out shopping while Jin watches the house and do all the housework, but today, none of them went out.
Last night, Mr. Dong told them to watch me. Looks like they won’t be going out today at all, and they likely won’t let me out either.
I made an appointment with the doctors that I will be having the operation today. I must go out.
Step by step, with a hand on the wall, I walked down the stairs. When Jin and Ms. Cai saw me, they rushed to my side and supported me with their hands. “Ms. Xia, why did you come downstairs? If you need anything, send for us and we’ll bring it up to you.”
Heh, looks like I’ve been grounded.
I sat down, as close to the front door as I could, and pondered upon just how I could possibly get away from this place.
If it wasn’t for the wounds on my leg, none of them can ever hope to catch me on foot.
Ms. Cai handed me a cup of water. As I took it from her, I intentionally let it slip, and that cup of water came pouring down on my leg.
To be fair, the water was a little hot, but it wasn’t that hot.
I screamed, “Aagh! That hurts!”
Since the water went directly onto the bandages covering my wounds, they had no way of knowing exactly how badly I was hurt. Immediately, they panicked.
“Ms. Xia, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, my hands slipped!” Ms. Cai said, sounding as if she was in tears. “Ms. Xia, are you alright?”
“It hurts, get the first aid kit. Get the kit!” I screamed.
Ms. Cai stopped for an instant, and immediately ran up the stairs.
I looked at Jin, still staring dumbfounded at me, “Are you just going to let me stay wet? Go get me some clothes.”
Jin finally came back to her senses, she quickly ran upstairs too.
It’s either now, or never.
I gritted my teeth and forced myself off the sofa, went to the door and grabbed my sneakers, and ran out just like that not bothering to put them on just yet.
I sneaked out from the alleyway behind, and shortly, not too long after, came Jin’s and Ms. Cai’s heart shattering yells.
I knew this area better than they do. Since I was here, I’ve made sure to go around all the places, memorizing all the exits and where every twists and turns would lead.
At an exit slightly off the main road, I went inside into a car, a ride that I had arranged beforehand to pick me up.
The car headed straight to the hospital. I looked at my watch, the doctor’s appointment is at 9:30, and it’s 9:00 right now, I still have plenty of time.
It’s almost too easy, fighting a battle of wits against the two of them.
I laid my hands over my belly, and gradually sadness began filling my heart as it settled in that, in just a few more moments, I will be snuffing out the light of life from a perfectly fine living being.
But, I had no choice, to not do it.
If I don’t, if one day, if he asked his father, “Who is my mother?”
I just don’t know how that person will answer him.
Or, maybe he’ll have another mother, who’d love him in ways that all others would think what a kind and loving mother she is.
And I, on the other hand, would have given birth to my first child of my life, and yet, unable to be there with him.
Now, in this moment, he is but a little fetus. He hasn’t grown enough to have his little hands and feet yet, and his brain hasn’t developed. If I take him out now, in this early stage of pregnancy, he won’t feel the pain, and it wouldn’t be as cruel to him.
Arriving at the hospital, the good hearted driver asked if I needed help or support going inside the hospital, I shook my head and thanked him for his kindness.
I went inside the hospital, limping on one foot like the crippled that I am, and went inside the operation room.
The operation was a simple one, and I have chosen the most costly option, asking for the Head of the Gynecology Department himself to perform the operation.
I know that this kind of operation is very taxing on the body, and of course I will choose nothing short of the least painful way that brings the least harm to myself.
I laid quietly, and still, on the operation table. The doctor and the nurses busied about, going through the pre-operation preparations.
This is but a small operation, so there aren’t that many complex procedures.
Having sterilized his hands, the doctor stood before me with his hands on open display, “Now, I shall begin the operation of abortion. Before I begin, as part of the operation procedure, I must ask you this question one more time. Are you certain beyond doubt that you want to go through with this?”
“Yes.” Just stop with all these questions already. Every single time someone asked me something like this, I felt as if my heart was pulled out and slashed open with a bloody knife anew.
I answered, calmly, doing my best to maintain my composure, but I knew in my heart just how much going through with this will hurt me.
I shut my eyes close, as well as my mouth. I will say no more. The nurses came to my sides, and performed the disinfection procedure. The cotton balls dabbed with iodine tincture wiped against my skin, and everywhere it touched sent my goosebumps rising from the cold.
I shut my eyes tighter, and the nurse patted my leg lightly, “Don’t worry, we’ll put you under anesthetics in a while, it won’t hurt even a little bit.”
“Nmm.” I sounded an acknowledged through closed mouth.
The nurse began to put me under, and gradually, I felt my senses growing dimmer and dimmer around my lower abdomen.
It was an odd feeling, as if my torso had somehow disappeared while my head and limbs were still intact.
The nurse poked my buttock with a needle, lightly, “Does it hurt?”
If I hadn’t seen her, I wouldn’t have known what she had done. I shook my head, “No, it doesn’t.”
“Alright, I shall begin the operation.”
The doctor came near, stood over me, and bent down to begin the operation.
Once, I was a girl, pure and innocent, but no more. From this moment onwards, I shall be a woman, a woman who have aborted her child.
That man, I will find him, and I will kill him.
Just as the doctor picked up the scalpel, all of a sudden, loud banging noises came from the direction of the door of the operation room. The doctor frowned, “What’s going on? Li, go and see what’s happening.”
The nurse went out of the operation room to open the door. I laid on the operation table, waiting, my heart already withered dry of emotions.
Then came the nurse’s surprised voice, “What? Cancel the operation? Who are you? And who are you to the patient?”
“I am the father of the child.”
Then came the sounds of footsteps. Though I couldn’t feel from being under the effect of the anesthetics, but my sense of hearing remained. I heard what has been said perfectly fine.
The father of my child? Is he finally willing to show himself?
I propped myself upright with everything I still have left in my arms, “Doctor, please cover a sheet over me!”
The last thing I want is to have a stranger seeing me in such an unsightly manner.
I’ll see, just who this person is.
Somehow, his voice sounded strangely familiar, but it could be one of the side effects of the anesthesia. I can feel a slight heat like a fever washing over my body, I have an allergy to anesthetics, and it could be affecting my recognition.
Suddenly, the curtain of the operation room was pulled wide open, and a man stood before me.