Chapter 8

• “Feel it! Who told you to be perverted,” I snapped, squinting my eyes in disgust.
• “But you want?!” Reyhan giggled; I pouted my lips; he’s annoying when he’s in his annoying mode like this. He tucked my hair hanging down from my face behind my ear. He grabbed my chin and made me look at him momentarily, then kissed me again like a few moments ago. I tried to push his body, but it had no effect; I feared Mama would see us. When the kiss returned to my neck, I tried to make Reyhan stop.
• “I’ll see you later, Reyhan !” I said, trying to hold back my sigh.
• “I want you now, Mikaila,” Reyhan pleads against my neck.
• “Not now,” I said, and Reyhan pulled his face away from my neck and looked at me.
• “Why??”
• I bit my lip nervously; I was not ready to do it anyway; he would be my first man if he did it after we married.
• “I’m… not ready yet,” I admitted, embarrassed. I looked at Reyhan nervously, embarrassed; I knew he had often had sex with women.
• “Have you ever had sex with a man before?”
• I don’t know what color my face is now; hearing that vulgar question, I’m embarrassed. I shook my head while looking down. Reyhan lifted my chin; he looked at me with a look I couldn’t understand.
• “Is that true??” he asked as if he didn’t believe me. I turned my head and tried to shift my thoughts and attention to our guest list. I’m embarrassed; this is the first time a man has asked so openly about my sex life. Reyhan grabbed one of my hands, which was currently holding the paper; he put the piece I was holding on the table and kissed my fingers, which were in his grip.
• “I want to be the first for you,” Reyhan said while looking at me sincerely; I was stunned. I suddenly hesitated to make a decision.
• “Not now; I’m not ready.” That’s all I can say, and it’s a fact. Giving up one’s virginity is not like giving up a packet of candy. Still, it’s about the dignity and honor of a woman.
• **
• On our way to the printing press, Reyhan was still curious about my sex life and relationship. I started to open up to him. It’s better than hiding something from him, but can I make him open up to me as I did?
• “Sorry if I’m not what you imagined.” Suddenly, I was nervous because I was worried that Reyhan didn’t like women like me; I was clumsy and not like women in today’s world who have comprehensive and accessible relationships. Reyhan smiled, and that made me ask.
• “Maybe that’s why you became my family’s ideal son-in-law candidate,” said Reyhan . I had a little pride, but why only the prospective son-in-law? Why not a future wife?
• “I once had a serious relationship with a woman but failed; maybe we weren’t meant to be,” he said. I just listened quietly, not wanting to interrupt.
• We arrived at our destination, and after our business was finished, Reyhan took me to his office. All eyes seemed to judge me from head to toe as Reyhan and I entered the elegant skyscraper. As if understanding my nervousness, Reyhan pulled me closer to him.
• “It’s a good thing you don’t have fans in this office so that I can breathe a sigh of relief,” he said as we were alone in the elevator.
• “You don’t like my fans, do you?” I asked; Reyhan put his hands in his pants pockets.
• “I have a problem with people being mean to other people,” he excused. I felt he was jealous, but I still doubted this assumption.
• “I’m just trying to appreciate people who want to support me while I’m in my profession; for me, fans are an important part of someone who has a job in Entertainment.”
• I don’t mean to defend anyone; it’s just that I want to appreciate the people who have supported me all this time.
• “After we get married, you don’t need your fans anymore,” he concluded in a tone that didn’t want to be disputed. The look on his face made the atmosphere around me uncomfortable; how profound is the fans’ impact on him? My Inner Goddess folded her lips into her mouth.
• Reyhan held my hand as we walked out of the elevator. I love the warm grip of his hand, and it protects my little hand. Reyhan introduced me to his secretary, and I disapproved of him having a female secretary.
• “Could you change your secretary?” I asked as we entered his cozy study. Reyhan looked at me questioningly.
• “Why? She is a competent person in doing his job.” Reyhan sat in his work chair while I sat on the sofa. I feel embarrassed, stupid, and nervous simultaneously, but I also have to put a rule here; after he wanted me to quit my profession and hate my fans, I felt I also had the right to neutralize my jealousy.
• Wait a minute, am I jealous??
• I am so embarrassed! My Inner Goddess blushed as she fanned her face gracefully.
• “I think I have a problem with a female secretary led by a male boss like you,” I said as I folded my arms in front of my chest; I turned my face to look at one of my shoulders.
• “Problems?? What problems can arise between the boss and the secretary?”
• I feel stupid voicing my opinion. I was too embarrassed to embarrass myself by forcing myself to admit I was jealous. My mood suddenly changed drastically; handsome master mood changer; this is very annoying.
• “I’ve heard that the boss has an affair with his secretary,” I guessed.
• “That’s ridiculous, Mikaila.”
• “That’s not ridiculous; I don’t want to have that problem in the future; what is the worst thing in a relationship besides betrayal?”
• “You’re beautiful when you’re angry and jealous simultaneously.”
• Look, he teases me when I’m angry. How annoying is this? Are men really like this?
• “I’m not changing my secretary,” he concluded, and I was disappointed. I woke up feeling angry mixed with disappointment.
• “Then don’t forbid me to meet my fans and leave my profession,” I said, then stepped out of the room that was no longer comfortable for me.
• When the elevator door was about to close, I saw Reyhan trying to chase after me, but in vain; the elevator had brought me down to the lobby. I wouldn’t say I like it when I’m the only one who has to follow the rules. My feet took me to the bus stop near Reyhan ’s office. My cell phone rang, and I knew it was from him.
• Why am I jealous?? Is it because he is also jealous of my fans?? But that’s just my assumption, but the signs are like jealous people.