Chapter 5 Lyra

• Lyra POV.
• Hot tears burned my eyes as it further blurred my vision even though I was trying my best to wipe it away while willing my mind to focus on my driving on the high way. I just couldn’t help myself but cry even more. Ryder’s betrayal has hurt me really bad and I can’t even begin to pretend as though it doesn’t hurt because it freaking does.
• It hurt so bad.
• I can literally feel my heart breaking on the inside with every single breath I take. The more I try to force myself not to, the more that horrid image of him with his face stuck into another woman’s pussy flashes through my mind. How could he freaking do this to me.
• Just how?
• To even think that he was eating another woman out while he texted me a couple minutes back just to remind me how much he loves and couldn’t wait to see me. Gosh, he was such a bloody liar and a cheat.
• He couldn’t even wait to do it after his birthday. I wonder how many women he already cheated with while he was in California all these weeks. I have seen messages, overheard phones and he always assured me, it was nothing. Just some fan girl calling to let him know how awesome she thinks he is and I was foolish enough to believe him.
• Throughout this four years, I can already imagine how many times he has laughed at my back each time I bought his lies and now this. He even had the nerve to deny it. It’s not what I think? Even if I was blind, deaf and dumb? I'd still be well enough to see him eat her up like that.
• “Stupid!..stupid…stupid! Son of a bloody liar” I couldn’t help but curse out loud, banging my hands against the steering wheels. I know exactly how I look and sound right now but I don’t care. At least not anymore. I have had enough with getting screw over.
• I already lost my job, now this. I don’t give a fuck what happens to me anymore. The whole world can open up and swallow me whole and it will still not be enough for me to five a fuck.
• “Fuck!” A little whimpered had to escape my mouth with more tears trickling down my cheeks.
• Why me? What did I do to deserve this. Wasn’t I good enough? Even if I wasn’t, he could have simply pretended or just walk away. Why act as though he was all about me while banging other women at every chance he got.
• “Dear God..I can’t…I just can’t” I cried even more as I rolled my van to a stop behind another SUV at traffic.
• I can’t even begin to describe the pain in my chest right now. To think that I was looking forward to spending my life with that lying piece of shit must have been the biggest joke of the century. I mean, the universe really has a funny way of doing things.
• While he played out his jokes on me, he didn’t realize he was showing himself off as the freaking clown that he was.
• My chest burn as I laugh out my pain. I laughed so hard that I ended up crying instead before things just spun out of control and I found myself crashing into another car backing out of the hold up line.
• I was so distracted that I didn’t realize the line had began to move once again. Good thing the other driver was paying attention and had maneuver out of the way before I could smash into his car.
• My feet met with the brake bringing the car to a screeching stop as I jerked forward before dropping on my seat again. My heart thumping loudly in my chest. I sniffed back my tears as I quickly muttered some apology at whoever it was even though I doubt he could hear him.
• That near crash was my cue to freaking get a grip on myself and focus on the road and so I let myself calm down for a second more before continuing in my way, this time with my eyes glued to every single detail before me and soon enough I was parked in front of the apartment building where I lived. I turned off the engine and wiped every traces of me crying before grabbing my bag and swung it over my shoulder, rushing into the building with my head lowered once I got down from the car.
• I quicken my steps when I noticed one of my neighbor approaching from behind as I hurried through the hallway and retrieved my key just as quickly and unlocked the door before hurrying inside and slammed it shut.
• I let out a shaky breath as I continued to lean against the closed door. My walk crumbling all over again with fresh tears burning in my eyes. Instead of letting it slip, I swallow back the lump forming in my throat before sniffing the tears away.
• Shortly afterwards, my phone start to ring in my bag but I made no move to answer it, knowing exactly who could be calling. Ryder has some nerves calling me. What exactly would he say? Probably tell more lies or fringe memory loss about what happened and made it look like I saw wrong and was probably looking for an excuse to leave him but guess what? Not this time.
• I have had just about enough. Even if I have to be single for the rest of my life, I would gladly do it than put up with his kind one more freaking day.
• Lolo heard the sound and came running before rubbing herself at my feet looking for a cuddle. I pushed myself off the door and bend over and then picked her up before hugging her to my chest gently.
• “Hey girl, did you miss me? I miss you too, lolo. Not to worry, it’s just me and you now” I said quietly, cuddling her warm furs even more to myself while she purred as though she could understand me. I just wish she could hug me back because I could really use one right now.
• I made my way further into the room before dropping back on the sofa, willing myself not to cry anymore. Whatever Ryder did today was jokes on him, not me. If he wanted someone else, now he can go ahead and do so without me barging in.
• He can go ahead and stick his dick in as many pussy as he possibly could, because it’s all over now. Case closed.
• **
• It’s been two whole hours and my phone hasn’t stopped ringing. I didn’t even bother to look at the screen because I know it could only be one person.
• Once I was done sulking in the living room, I dragged myself into the bedroom and began to shrug out of my clothes before pulling my hair into a loose bun. I turned to walk into the small bathroom connected to my room and heard my phone chimed, indicating a new message but I ignored it still.
• Looks like someone isn’t done being a drama king yet. Haah!
• I stepped into the bathtub after filling it with cold water since I couldn’t use the heater to warm it up. I had it disconnected after I lost my first job. I can’t be pilling up more bills when my pay is barely enough to cater for my needs.
• Last month rent and this month was paid by Ryder and after now, I guess I will to sort out things for myself even if it would mean doing the impossible.
• I shrugged out of my bathrobe and slipped into the water, one foot at a time until I was fully submerged into the water. My whole body hummed in appreciation as the water in itself was more than just consuming. It was absolutely therapeutic in every sense.
• I’m not exactly sure how long I spent in there but when I finished, I felt alive again and quickly reached for my towel, wrapping myself up with it.
• I got back into the bedroom and began to search for what to wear and finally settled for a pair of loose pants and oversized T-shirt that was obviously not mine, but still I needed some comfort and it was going to offer exactly what I need.
• My stomach grumbled noisily, reminding me I haven’t had food all day. Lolo was meowing at me as well I knew she was also hungry. “Come on, girl. Let go make dinner”
• I was still making my way into the kitchen when I heard a sharp knock against the door. I thought about ignoring it but curiosity got the best of me and I found myself walking over to unlock it. I pulled the door open only to stare back at the last person I was expecting to see.