Chapter 8 The Missing Journal

• Selene's POV
• Every second gone without me returning to my chamber for the journal was like a time bomb beeping and waiting to explode.
• Aside from that, I was beginning to feel this usual and unexplainable connection I do feel for Alpha Kieran whenever I am around him. And that was the last thing I would ever want to feel right now.
• How could I forget he was the person who had killed me?
• And up till now, I can't really tell if he was also behind Raven's death.
• I care little or nothing for the facade he is trying to put up all in the name of caring for me.
• “Can I get to my chambers now?” I opted, with my lips protruded, while I ruffled the bridge of my nose.
• “Is it itching here already? Or are you just not comfortable around me here with you?”
• But then, aside from me wanting to get to my chamber for the journal, I am one person that loves my privacy so much, and I am beginning to think this is likely to be the opposite of Raven.
• “Not that, but I need to walk around a bit; it would be a great idea, you know.”
• “Didn't you hear when the doctor said that you need to rest before you think of walking around to exercise your legs?” He obviously perturbed.
• “I heard him, but I can simply try to walk to my chamber and then rest there before I do the other walking around later. I think that would be better; besides, I think they must have been done with cleaning my chamber like you had instructed the maid.” I interjected but tried to maintain a polite demeanor.
• “I haven't known this aspect of you of interjecting what I say, but then, let's assume that you are still in the recuperating stage to get to your usual self.
• You can do as you wish.” He grumpily said and shrugged his shoulders.
• His tone of voice wasn't as hard as I thought he would be on me, anyway.
• It's now more obvious that I was just the opposite of Raven, and maybe, if I continue this way, there's a zero chance to get me far in all these.
• I wish I could just take a deep inhale and exhale to have all the personality of Raven, but on the contrary, I can't even cope.
• From everything I see happening around, I feel she has been taken advantage of, all in the name of being loyal.
• ‘What if that was her survival tactic but was later killed?’
• I thought hard.
• There was a whole lot that I wasn't getting clear, and the fact they were even contradicting made it more difficult for me to wrap my head around it.
• “Is that a yes, Alpha Kieran?” I finally managed to ask after what seemed like an eternity of silence between us.
• But he only looked at me; his eyes showed nothing but wrath as his expression turned grim, like he wasn't obliged to answer. In essence, whatever ‘I wish to’ he already said.
• But then, what I picked up in the little time I was here was that Alpha Kieran wasn't abusive to Raven.
• Just like I would have expected of him.
• And so, I don't think there was anything that could make Alpha Kieran take her life.
• I mean, when someone was practically doing everything you wanted of her, unlike me, who would question almost every instruction given to me just to get myself vindicated.
• You won't blame me so much anyway; naturally, I am this inquisitive and curious fellow, and that was why I chose my career path as a journalist in the first place.
• Without doing much, I knew that blending into Raven's personality is likely to be a little difficult.
• Besides, if I am not this way, how would I even be able to get to know what led to Raven's death, what led to the other doctor's death, and how I would be able to save Draven from the hands of Alpha Kieran, as I could already smell danger?
• If I could be able to do all these, then I think I would have avenged my own death.
• I won't forgive Alpha Kieran easily for killing my true self, and I will make sure that with the powers that lie within me, I will make him regret that single action even before he knows it.
• Even though I know how powerful and supernatural a true Alpha werewolf is, I believe the disguise in Raven's body will give me an advantage over that.
• All these drifted to and fro in my mind till I butted into my chambers.
• I closed the door behind me the moment I got in.
• And then I went straight to the exact spot I had pushed the journal under the wooden couch.
• I lowered my hands in the space underneath the couch, as I knew that I didn't push it too far, but to my surprise, there was no sign of anything that I felt there.
• Is this some kind of expensive joke or something?
• I lowered my whole body down and pushed my hands further underneath, and yet there was no sign of it or whatsoever.
• My face contorted into a frown as I yanked harder.
• No, this is the time I lift the couch up; maybe I pushed it with more energy than I had envisaged, and probably it had moved further.
• I used the last strength I had to do so, and when I did, I still couldn't see anything.
• “Am I daydreaming or what?”
• I mumbled to myself, and my eyes wandered around the chamber in the split of a second.
• “I am so sure that this is where I slide it.
• No, this can't be happening.
• You know, it was as if my life was dependent on this, and maybe my stay here was too.
• The thought sent a shudder through me and sent a fresh wave of unease through me, but I forced myself to push it aside.
• I pressed my fingers against my temples, trying to push away the growing headache as I already started feeling anxious.
• I tried so hard to steady my breathing, believing that I was in the right chamber.
• I stood emotionless for what seemed like ten minutes or more.
• ‘This is insanely out of this world, I must say.’
• Thinking back and forth about what could have happened to the journal.
• ‘What if Alpha Kieren had arranged to have it taken after he must have noticed I slid it under the couch but decided to act like he didn't take notice of that?
• I never knew these werewolves could be this dangerous.
• “Knock knock.”
• There was a knock on the door, and I snapped out of my thoughts.
• I blinked twice in confusion as I wondered who that could be.
• I closed my eyes and breathed in and out, just to make myself relax and calm.
• I needed to calm down in this kind of situation because being anxious won't fix this.
• The knock came again the second time.
• “Knock knock.”