Chapter 4

• She stayed on the phone with Damien for a good thirty minutes, before he had to go, and she settled into her homework. She was doing better in her classes now that she wasn’t so stressed out about how she would pay for necessities, and she didn’t have to pick up every extra shift and beg her bosses for overtime, so she was feeling rested for the first time. She had never been not tired, so the feeling took some getting used to. She didn’t have quite enough money that she would be comfortable dropping one of her jobs, but she was thriving. She was even finally looking more like a young woman instead of a malnourished teen. Her friends said she never looked like a child, but Kelly’s insecurities didn’t let her fully believe them.
• A box arrived a few days later, and she opened it with anticipation, knowing it was from NathRoth. She rarely ordered things online for herself, and he had told her he was sending things.
• The first thing she found was… A men’s sweater? She turned it over in her hands. It was high quality, and soft. Black with a sort of woven pattern, not quite a waffle weave, and not quite a checker pattern. Checking the label, then checked the flap of the box to make sure it had her name on it. A male sweater in a massive size- his size? Maybe he was fat, and that explains why a sweet-sounding guy with a shit-ton of money was doing this? - in a box addressed to her. Okay.
• Next was a silky bag with a drawstring, and when she opened it, out rolled a giant ball of… Socks?... Creamy grey, thigh-high, knitted socks with a cable knit pattern. Very cute, even softer than the sweater, and very feminine. A stark contrast to the masculine sweater.
• So far, both items were very welcome, even if she wasn’t being paid a massive sum to wear them for an hour. It was November in Jasper, and Autumn had turned into Winter a few weeks ago. It was going to be very cold this year according to forecasts. Although, thanks to him, this was the first year Kelly could imagine turning on the heater- maybe for an hour or two at night, just to get through the coldest part of the dark, nothing too crazy- she still would get plenty of use out of warm clothing.
• There were two more items in the box, one a set of lacy red underwear, while the other was a plain brown box. She reached for the mystery box.
• And nearly screamed at the object that came out but managed to stifle that reaction.
• She was so surprised, she dropped it. It was a dildo. Obnoxiously red, shaped like a penis complete with veins, it rolled on the floor, taunting her. Daring her to pick it up.
• Kelly was a camgirl, even if it was mostly for one guy. She knew what a dildo was. She knew lots of women, not just camgirls, had them. But she had never used one before. Her streams were all fingers and a bullet vibrator that was at least four years old and barely worked. She couldn’t afford food when she started and investing in sex toys hadn’t been on her radar.
• And even though she wasn’t a virgin in the strictest opinion, since she had been fucking herself on camera for months now, she had never had sex with a man. Or a dildo that looked like a man. Or had anything bigger than a tampon?
• Staring at it for a long moment, scratching above her ear, Kelly reminded herself that she was a camgirl, and he didn’t know that she had never ‘done it so to speak. This was probably very normal and, after so many months of his… patronage… sending her a sex toy was not something she could call offensive. The more she thought about it the more it seemed strange that this was the first time he had done so. Most guys would have done it within the first week.
• And she couldn’t forget the 1500$. She was being paid fifteen hundred dollars to wear a sweater, drink rum, and talk to a guy for an hour. Her research said that sometimes girlfriend experiences included sexy stuff (in her case, fingering herself on camera), but it was equally reasonable for it to just be an emotional connection. If he asked her to use the dildo, was she willing to say no to fifteen hundred dollars?
• No. She needed that money and was willing to fuck herself with this fake cock to get it. If things got out of hand or he turned into a monster, she was safe on the other side of the screen and could flick a button and end the connection. Thanks to him, even if he never paid her again, she had a nest egg. A safety net of cash. She could go back to working herself to the bone and spending next to nothing, and that money could last years.
• Kelly wanted to be safe, wanted to know what she was talking about when they had their appointment, and didn’t want to embarrass herself or be taken advantage of. So, she made a post on the Lady Lust website forums in the performer’s section.
• * I have one regular, but I can’t tell if I’m being a ninny or if these are red flags. Advice? *
• *I’ve been camming for almost 6 months, but I don’t have a big following, so I’m not very experienced with how things work. I only have one regular, but he makes it worth my time to keep streaming. He is polite and tips very generously. He has requested a private session for an hour, asking me to wear a specific outfit (a sweater, panties, and thigh-high socks), have a drink (he suggested wine but didn’t mind when I preferred rum), and do a Girlfriend Experience. He’s paying me 1500$ for it. But when the outfit he requested arrived, there was also a dildo in the delivery. Nothing weird other than being bright red- it looks human and normal-sized if on the bigger side of that spectrum (6.5 inches).
• I guess my problem is he has been very upfront before, if a little awkward, about his requests, but never mentioned anything about this dildo, and I’m not sure if he expects me to use it, me to offer, if it’s just a gift, or what? The surprise of it is making me nervous. Add in the fact I’ve never used a dildo like this, I don’t know what he wants.
• Can someone offer some guidance on what I should do or say?*
• After posting that, she sent a quick message off to NathRoth that the box had arrived, didn’t mention the dildo, and went to bed.
• When she woke up, she had a flood of replies to her post, more than expected. It was a mix of answers, many of which were short “Red flag, run!” or “Girl, 1500$, get that bag!” type of responses, which Kelly felt was an oversimplification.
• Two replies stood out. One said something along the lines of, “if he is paying you that well for just an hour, he is probably rich, and you should push for an in-person meet-up after the private session and offer to be his girlfriend for real. Even if he is ugly or awful, a year or two of marrying him could set you up for life.” There was a bit more, but Kelly (and a few other people based on their outraged replies) thought that wasn’t the kind of advice she should take.
• The second reply that got her attention was more in line with the advice she sought.
• *If he is a little bit awkward as you said, he might be a little bit neurodivergent. A high-ish proportion of my regulars are guys who have a sex drive and are attracted to women but have zero social skills due to some diagnosis. There’s no way to know for sure unless he brings it up, and you would be in a better position to decide if that was the case but being a little awkward and forgetting to let you know about the dildo isn’t a red flag. He might have been thinking about it so much that he thought he had already told you. It might have been an impulse purchase after you discussed the private session. If he makes you feel uncomfortable or you don’t like how he treats you, that’s a different story, but I’m not seeing anything concerning. I say you don’t need a reason or a red flag to cut out someone that doesn’t bring value to your shows or your life, but if you don’t feel that way, keep him around. I’m getting vibes like he might be a sugar daddy or maybe even a fin-sub type but doesn’t know it, especially if he’s giving you a lot of money for very little work.
• As for advice on what you should do: Send him a quick message. Say something like ‘Hey, did you mean to send this dildo, and do you want me to use it during our private time?’ and just leave it at that. He might apologize for forgetting to tell you about it, might ask you to use it, or it might just be a gift he thought you might like for your regular shows (since you said you haven’t used something like that he might be trying to help.) If he gets weird or aggressive or wants something you don’t want to do, then you have your answer. Also, I know you didn’t ask, but you mentioned not being very experienced- Have a back-story planned for the girlfriend experience and stay close to the truth. Don't say you are a nurse or something if you aren't because he might ask questions and making up lies about a job you don't know anything about can make you look foolish and most of these guys just want a fantasy. If you can maintain the fantasy, they don't care what you do all day. There are a lot of small chats, like ‘How was your day?’ and ‘What are you doing later?’ The kind of stuff you would talk about with a long-distance boyfriend. You don’t want to freeze up or accidentally slip and give personal information that could lead back to you IRL.
• It sounds like you got really lucky and found a good regular, so unless there is a lot you aren't telling us, enjoy the ride because damn that's a lot of money. I’m a little jealous, lol.*
• Deep breath. Kelly opened the private messages with NathRoth and carefully typed.
• *Hey, um, not to be weird, but did you intend to send a dildo? I was too nervous to ask in my last message, I’ve never used one before, do you want me to use that during our appointment? I will need to practice.*
• A few hours later, a reply came through.
• *I’m so sorry I didn’t mention it, I added it to the order at the last minute as an impulse and then forgot about it. Please do not feel obligated to use it, but I would not turn down the opportunity if you were willing. However, if you are willing to use it for me, I would prefer that you don’t practice. Seeing you use it for the first time would be very special, but I don’t want you to feel pressured to do something you do not want to do.*
• It was not the first time, and it would probably not be the last time, that Kelly stared at his message and muttered. “Seriously, who ARE you?”
• Less than ten minutes later, her phone dinged with a notification, and she picked it up absently as she tidied her shoebox of an apartment. Living in such a small place required organization.
• *Tip from NathRoth - 300$*
• Raising her eyebrows, and deciding to just accept it without messaging him, she sighed. “I guess I need a spa day to make myself look good for this appointment. That man is paying so much, he should get the best I’ve got…”