Chapter 6 Six

• Tessa
• During my wedding planning, I pictured my honeymoon somewhere hot, that would require Abel and I naked all day. I never in a million years thought my honeymoon would turn out like this. But then again, I had never, even in my wildest dreams, thought I would be forced into marriage with a man I had a one night stand with, a man who happened to be my Ex-Fiancee’s Brother.
• It was all chaotic. A bloody disaster, simply put.
• The alarm by the bedside cupboard read 2am. Sorren was in the living room of the hotel room and I in the bedroom, staring at the ceiling and pondering about my life to come.
• I should be thinking about my child. I should be thinking of how to find her, but no, thoughts of Sorren and our earlier conversation twirled in my subconscious. He had almost discovered the secret I was hiding and I couldn’t let that happen. And, how dare him sound judgemental about me cheating when I had heard him with another woman barely hours after we got married? The bloody nerve of him.
• My gaze darts once again to the bedside cupboard and I realised I have spent about half an hour thinking about Sorren. I close my eyes, hoping to be overtaken by a deep slumber, but images of Sorren invades my mind.
• I sigh, peeling the covers off me and getting out of bed. There’s a figure laying on the couch when I walked into the parlour. I tiptoed past the couch, heading for the balcony but I freeze in my steps. My head turns in a speed of lightening to see who was on the couch. I scrunch my face, realising I’d mistaken a duvet for Sorren.
• “You can come, I don’t bite,” Sorren’s voice tears me off my internal debate. I don’t react immediately, pondering whether to head back inside or join him. I settle on the latter.
• “I thought you were asleep,” I say, meeting him by the balcony. Sorren is quiet, allowing me to take in the distant buzzing of cars and the cityscape. The view is lovely this time of the night and I was happy I decided to join him outside.
• “I couldn’t sleep,” he says after a while of silence. I join him and rest my elbow on the glass frame serving as barrier. I am able to take in Sorren’s features. I’ve always thought him to be a handsome man, no doubt, but up close, he’s the typical man every woman would create if they were ever given a chance too.
• Thick brows and long lashes that curved upwards as though a lash curler had passed through it. His lips? Don’t even get me started. I suddenly get tingles remembering the brief instance our lips met at the alter. The beauty of this man couldn’t be justified with just mere words.
• “I’m sorry,” he says, turning fully so I have his full attention and I’m not quite sure what to make of it. I stare a little too long at his chest, although it’s covered in a white tee.
• “Tessa?”
• “Huh?” I snap my head upward, confusion plastered on my face. “Sorry, what?” I shake my head, willing myself to focus on the man standing before me.
• “I said I’m sorry.” The confusion on my face becomes more evident, but not from what he had said, but why he said it.
• As if sensing it, Sorren pressed on. “I’ve been thinking about it and I haven’t exactly been easy on you. One minute I am cold towards you and the next minute, I am all up in your face demanding explanations from you. I’m sorry,” his voice is gentle and warm and I slowly start to melt on the spot.
• “You don’t have to apologise Sorren,”
• “I do, Tessa,” Sorren answers almost immediately. Doubt lingers in his green eyes and he seems a little uneasy for a moment, as if not sure what to do. He finally takes my hands in his. His palms are soft.
• “I was harsh on you back at the alter. I didn’t even stop to think about how you felt marrying someone you don’t know when the man you were supposed to marry stood a few feet away from you. I’m not sure what transpired between you two to make you leave, but I want to assume it must have been so heart-breaking finding out upon your return that your fiancée got married to your sister,”
• Wow. Just.. wow! Is this Sorren supposed to be the cold-hearted man everyone paints him to be? Isn’t he supposed to be a self-centred womaniser? The same man who outrightly blurted out in front of a crowd that he would never love me?
• “The truth is, Tessa, contrary to what everyone thinks, I want our marriage to work. I want to build a happy life with you. I know it’s asking a lot from you given that you were forced into this union with me, but I just have to put it out there. I want to prove to everyone who has doubts about our marriage that they’re wrong. I-“
• “I cheated on Abel,” it came out all of a sudden, like my mouth and brain were separate entities of their own. Sorren’s expression is blank, but the way he slowly releases my hand tells me he is disappointed and it stinks. He peels his gaze off me as if I wasn’t worthy of his stare. Why I care? I have not a clue.
• “It wasn’t intentional,” I quickly defended, suddenly not wanting Sorren to see me as a cheat, not after everything he had just said. “I woke up in bed with a man who wasn’t Abel and I don’t know how. The last thing I remember is Denise leading me to a room where Abel apparently waited and – “
• “Who?” Sorren cuts me off.
• “Who?”
• “Who did you cheat on Abel with?” He looks at me and I am a prisoner of his gaze. I open my mouth to respond, but words fail me. What do I say? That he is the man I cheated on my fiancée with?
• “He left before I woke up.” I lie, playing with the hem of my pyjama shorts.
• “Then how are you so sure you cheated on Abel?”
• “Because..” I pause mid way. I hesitated. Should I tell him the truth? Would he still want our marriage to work? It doesn’t matter what he thinks of me, or what he wants. He probably said all that because it’s what he is good at doing.
• “I got pregnant,” I say. Sorren is quiet. I continue. “It is why I disappeared for so long. Mother didn’t want anyone knowing so she sent me away to a convent,”
• Minutes passed after I finished talking and Sorren still hasn’t said anything. I decide to walk back inside to let him process everything I’d just said.
• “Where’s the child?” His voice stops me in my tracks, just as it does my heart.
• I don’t face him when I give him an answer. “She was stillborn.”
• _________