Chapter 19

• LUCA
• I've already lost my sanity but my survival is at stake. If I don't end them, they will forever keep controlling my decisions, controlling my self. I must survive. I must save myself even if that's the only thing left. I will go to Italy. I will try to end these torment, I know failure is as fatal as success but I won't let fear of failure stop me. I may loose what's left of my sanity, hell. I may even loose my life but if I continue sitting in New York and letting the pain and voices from my past feast on my vulnerability then I will definitely loose what's left of my sanity. I will die in the end so why don't I make it worth the while. I must go to Italy now. I will find my deadbeat dad. I will find Mr Hyde. I will find his wife. I will punish them.
• And then there's Lily, saving the best for last. The sweetest girl there is. She has been loved and taught to love, to dream and to live. Me, I have never been loved, I have only been taught to hate, to destroy, to show anger. I stare at the lake as its current are flowing in the dark and I wish all these wrong emotions could flow away from me too. I'm so lonely. I'm so lost. I care more to be happy. To be loved. Until I find myself, I can't love myself. Until I love my self, I can't love another so until then I will just always fantanise about her.