Chapter 48

• Stephane is hot and dark and irresistible and taboo. Forbidden. He somehow knows how to make me feel like I am ontop of the world when he looks at me the way only he knows how to. Stephane makes me feel things that I couldn't describe even if I had all the words in the world. There is an allure to him, a pull that makes us together feel right. Then there is the way he makes my body feel. He is an expert lover and I find that sexy on its own. Knowing that he has years of experience over me makes me feel heated and bothered.
• As for Benjamin, I don't know what it is I feel for him. There is some innocence to him that I don't know if I trust. Or even want. Or maybe it is because he is connected to my mother in a way. Maybe that is what discourages me. I am rebelling against her by refusing his affection. Story of my life. Self sabotage to spite my mother and then she just continues living her life without a care in the world about me and my bleeding heart.
• "C'mon, Aleen. Go on a date with the guy. You can't tell, this might just be what you need. Give it a chance, if you really want to get over Stephane, you have to give Benjamin a chance. You don't have to make any permanent decisions, just go out, have fun with a guy who is your age mate and not married to your mother. Go, be normal, do normal things with a boy. Please." Charlie would not give up. Her words hit a chord but I can't even flare up because she is right.