Chapter 117

• "You understand why I have to do this, why we have to do this. Please tell me you understand." Stephane is still on his knees next to me. It is so unnatural to be looking at him from this vantage angle, our usual dynamic is me looking up at him and now I am looking down to meet his eyes, I am too overwhelmed by my feelings to care much. He doesn't seem to mind. He seems content down there, hands on my legs, unsure.
• "I don't." I say, my heart is shattering into a million pieces. And I am not exaggerating. It feels exactly like that. A million jagged pieces stabbing me, wounding me further.
• "Just till the dust settles, love. We have to stay away from eachother until I settle Christine. We are dissolving our marriage and she is very sensitive right now. She has been snooping around, trying to figure out who the other woman is. I have to protect you. And maybe protect her too. This is not something you guys can come back from and I don't think I would be able to forgive myself if I am the reason for your irreversible split. I don't know how we can resolve this, but the space should help me figure something out." Stephane sounds breathless.