Chapter 136

• I don't even know why I want to know that answer. It is not like it is going to change anything. Maybe feed my rage. Fuel the emotion to the level I might be compelled to act on. I do need my anger. I feel it fading in and out every now and then. It is hard to hold onto it righteously when it doesn't even hurt. I truly don't feel rage about it. I can't bring myself to feel anything.
• So Christine cheated, or has been cheating on me, so what? I am no longer in love with her. I haven't been for a very long time. Our marriage has felt like an obligation for the longest time. It makes sense then that I would turn to fall in love with her daughter.
• It doesn't make it right, but we have been largely disconnected from eachother as husband and wife for the longest time way before I got involved with Aleen. But I can't even begin to explain that to Christine in a way that she would understand or accept, so I have to do this. It is the only way.