Chapter 3

• IT’S OVER
• Months before I decided to come back to The United Kingdom, I had the idea of how Kai and I would meet again. I imagined it normal and planned because we’re going to talk about the reasons why I left and the reasons why he stayed, if he stayed.
• But this…this is not what I have planned.
• I am caught off guard and defenseless. He’s standing in front of me with eyes narrowed at mine, eyebrows creased.
• My heart almost dropped on the ground the moment I laid my eyes on him. He looks different. Since the last time I saw him, his features matured. His gaze got even more intense. His jaw is even more perfectly carved. And his body…I could only purse my lips and sigh inwardly.
• I only stopped staring and when he cleared his throat.
• “What’s with the fun?” he asked but he was looking at Kris.
• I swallowed a big lump in my throat. I expected this. After leaving him behind, I can’t expect him to come to me running and begging for my attention like the old times. This time, I am going to be the one to beg. I am going to be the one to plead for his attention.
• Ashley looked at me. Her eyes are apologetic.
• I smiled at her. This is just the beginning. I would meet him again and again in the days to come. I need to get used to seeing his face and my breaking heart.
• “Well…” Kris trailed. “Eunique just got back from New York.” He smiled as he looked at me.
• Kai sat beside Kris and looked away. “Ah, that’s all?” he asked, seemingly bored while biting his lower lip.
• Once upon a time, I was the one for him. Years later, I am demoted to a pronoun—that. My heart clenched at this realization but I need to endure this. I would get even more hurt in the future. This is just the beginning of my heartache.
• “Yes! Isn’t that a happy thing? Seeing an old friend?”
• One more word and I’m really going to punch Kristian Lowe’s jaw! And I don’t care if it would break my fist! Damn this stupid creature!
• Kai smirked—or scoffed. “Right! An old friend…” he trailed and took Kris’ shot of vodka.
• Janice held my elbow and sat close to me. “Do you want to go to the rest room first?” she whispered to me.
• I looked at her and smiled weakly before nodding. “Yes. I would want that.” I replied as I slowly stood up and excused ourselves.
• Hannah and Ashley followed.
• I leaned on the sink, in front of a hug mirror. I feel like fainting. Seeing Kaisser Bennett unexpectedly like this drains all of my energy.
• Janice looked at me while Ashley came and hugged me from the side. Hannah’s behind me while brushing her fingers through my hair. Overall, I look so pathetic.
• “I’m sorry. It’s all Kris’ fault.” Ashley told me.
• I looked at her and smiled. “It’s okay. I know I’d meet him one of these days, anyway.” I replied.
• The three frowned at me. I know what they’re thinking. They think I’m trying to be a martyr. I’m not. I’m not a martyr. I just know when to give up and what to act when it’s my fault. I don’t have the right to complain on how Kai is treating me. I caused him harm. I can let him hurt me in return…if that’s what’s going to make him happy.
• “We can leave,” Hannah suggested. “I can say that Byron is looking for me and your parents are worried so we could leave right now.”
• I smiled weakly at her and shook my head. “I don’t want to leave.” I want to, but if I did, I could never get over this fear of facing him again. I need to get used to this.
• “Eunique…” Janice trailed. “You don’t have to—”
• I smiled and shook my head. “It’s been years. Of course I can do this right now. Better than before,” I tried to assure them…and, most importantly, myself.
• The three looked at me with narrowed eyes, totally not believing in me. I just smiled at them.
• Now, I believe it. Now I believe that the most said and used lie is I’m fine. I was wondering why people have to say that they’re alright when they’re obviously not. But it all makes sense to me now. It’s hard to open up. It’s hard to admit the feelings built up inside, especially when it’s the most unexplainable feeling.
• “Let’s go,” I told them and walked out of the restroom first.
• I decided to walk straight to the bar when I saw Kris and Kai talking on the couch. I can sit there but I need to get drunk first. My sober self can’t stomach being near him.
• “Drink?” the bartended asked me.
• “The strongest in the house,” I replied.
• “Woah! Fierce,” he said. “Boy problem?” He raised his brow as he fixed me a drink.
• I shook my head. It’s more than a boy problem. It’s Kaisser Bennett. He’s more than a boy for me.
• He smirked. “Oh…So it is.” He smiled and I can see his dimple.
• I wanted to roll my eyes at him but I don’t want to be rude. If there was one thing I learned abroad, it is to always be kind because we don’t know what the people around us are going through. I’ve learned to see more than just the surface.
• “Here. It’s not the strongest but the hardest I can give for a beautiful girl.” He winked at me before attending to other customers.
• I looked at the drink in front of me and sighed.
• Is this all I can do? Just drink and make the pain vanish for a moment?
• “Why are you drinking?”
• I stopped halfway when I heard Kai’s from voice behind me. I looked at him slowly and saw him looking at me with narrowed eyes.
• “I came here to have fun, remember?”
• God knows how hard I tried to speak those words. His presence alone is making me go insane. His presence alone is taking all my sanity away.
• He walked closer to me, looking really angry. “Is that what you learned from New York?” His eyebrows are shouting at me. His eyes are piercing through me.
• I tried my hardest to purse my trembling lips into a firm line. I don’t know what to say. I can’t think well. He’s accusing me of learning all the bad things while I was away from him but I didn’t. I was a good girl. I swear I was a very, very good girl.
• “Put that shot glass down right now, Eunique.” His commanding and authoritative voice shook my system all the way.
• I gulped and placed the shot glass down, obeying him, shaking from fear. I’ve tried to make myself believe numerous times that I have prepared for this meeting. And every time I think I do, I am slapped by the fact that I am not ready for this. No. My heart isn’t.
• His Adam’s apple moved as he took my hand and pulled me out of the club. I wanted to yank my wrist from him but I think I have lost all of my energy.
• The moment his hand touched my small wrist, I felt a million sensations reviving within me. My body seemed to be filled with an uproar of my pent up emotions.
• He pulled me near a black Mercedes Benz. He trapped me between his arms and the passenger’s door. My heart is filled with unknown emotions. I feel like it’s about to burst and explode.
• He moved his face closer to me. I can feel his cold and minty breath on my lips that’re only centimeters apart from his.
• “How do you that?” he asked in the most frustrated voice I have ever heard. “How can you just leave me alone when I am so in love with you?” Loneliness and despair dripped from his voice.
• Tears started to form in the corners of my eyes. My heart is overwhelmed by the surge of emotions I am experiencing right now. The pain of all the heartaches I thought I have already gotten over with is coming back the moment I heard his question.
• He scoffed and shook his head before slamming his palm on the car. “How?” His voice is rising. “You told me you love me! You’ve even given me your…fuck!” He exasperated.
• He bit his lip, looked away and turned from me, wiping his eyes with his thumb and index. He’s hurting. Until now, he’s still hurting.
• I couldn’t move from my place. I just continued crying and apologizing.
• “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Kai. I was just—”
• “What?!” He looked at me with mad eyes. “What can your sorry do now, Eunique? You’ve already hurt me! You’ve already crushed and stomped on my heart! What? What can you even do now?! Nothing!”
• I swallowed a big lump in my throat. I know I’m hurt when I left him but I’ve never thought it would even hurt this much. Seeing him shouting and begging for his crushed heart back is making me hurt a thousand times more.
• I’m guilty. I’m guilty of everything he’s accusing me. I know what I did was unreasonable. But I came back…and I want to fix everything between us, if I still could.
• “Were you happy?” he asked and laughed weakly. “Were you happy when you left me alone? Were you happy when you ripped my heart into a million pieces?”
• I pursed my lips. “No!” I vehemently shook my head. I shut my eyes to gather myself.
• He laughed at me. “Of course you’d lie.” He shook his head.
• I looked at him in the eyes.
• “Of course you’d say you’re not happy because you can see me like this right now.”
• “No, Kai…” I tried to reach for him but he pushed my hands away.
• I just broke down and cried. I was never happy. I was the most miserable woman in the world because I left the person who had loved me with all his heart…because I have hurt the person who means the world to me.
• “Get in the car.” he ordered, now looking calmer. “I’ll drive you home.”
• I didn’t ask any more questions and just got inside his car. I can’t read his mind. Somehow, I’m still hoping I could still fix us.
• He got to the driver’s seat, eyes all on the road.
• “This is the last time, Eunique James. It’s over. I don’t ever want to see you again.”