Chapter 7

• WELCOME
• I cried the whole day at a park I passed by when I left Nildex. I didn’t care if people give me weird glances and sympathetic stares. My heart is breaking and I don’t have anyone to blame other than myself.
• I have been away for too long. Four long years. All these times, I have only been thinking of how Kai could forgive me when we meet again. I have always thought of how I could have him back to me. I have always thought of how he would be able to find someone else to have apart from me.
• I may have hurt him a little too much for him to look for someone else to love.
• Or maybe he stopped loving me when I left? I don’t know. It doesn’t matter anyway.
• I went home very late and just thought of the best excuse to tell my parents when they woke up. At least I applied at Nildex. I’m not expecting to get hired, though. I’m even thinking twice now if I really want to work there.
• Sure, I want Kai back but if he has someone else, is it fair to have him back for myself?
• I sure am so in love with him but I’m no martyr. I would stop if I had to.
• “Hey, where did you go last night?” Eurick asked me when we were all eating breakfast.
• My parents looked at me, waiting for my answer.
• I smiled. “I applied for jobs the whole day. Then I ate dinner with friends.” A lie I’d apologize for when they knew about the truth. “In fact, I’ll go out again today.” I smiled as I ate like I am fine.
• Dad nodded. “You tried to go to Nildex?” he asked.
• I nodded. “Yes, I went there first, Dad.” But I’m wishing they won’t call me back. I could endure the pain but not the sight.
• “That’s good!” Mom beamed. “You need to get in.”
• I nodded and just ate in silence. My siblings are looking at me like they pity me over this shit. Well, they need be thankful that they’re not the first-born.
• “I hope, Mom.” Not.
• We ate in joy…or my parents alone were feeling the happiness and contentment.
• “Mom, I want a condo unit for my birthday,” Euron stated.
• Mom and Dad looked at him. I did, too.
• “I’m in my final year in college. I can handle myself. And besides, you told me you’d let me move out when I’m legal. I’m more than legal,” Euron added.
• I bit my lip and waited for my parents’ response.
• I heard Mom’s heavy sigh. “Alright. On your birthday,” she said.
• Euron smiled at Mom’s remark. I wanted to protest. When I was his age, I wanted a flat, too! But they refused to give me one! How fucking unfair!
• “Thanks, Mom!” Euron beamed.
• Mom started to give him the rules if he ever lives alone. Rules that I never had existed in this world. My mother is one crazy woman.
• After breakfast, I started to look for more company positions for me. I applied to seven different companies until I noticed that it’s already time for dinner.
• My phone rang. It was Janice.
• “Are you in V Mall right now?” she asked.
• “Yes,” I replied as I looked for a restaurant to eat in. I’m looking for a different one—one where I won’t be thinking about Kaisser Bennett, or anything that we did before.
• “Cool! We’re inside HapChan!” She beamed. “We saw you walking, looking for some place to eat, I guess? Are you with someone?” She asked.
• “Yes. I’m looking for some place to eat. No. I’m alone,” I replied as I tried to look for HapChan. When I finally saw it, I saw Janice and Martin, sitting on a table near the glass wall. Janice’s waving at me.
• “Then come on! Eat with us!” Janice excitedly invited me.
• I nodded and ended the call, walking to where they are. I sat beside Janice who’s so happy to see me. Gee! It’s as if we didn’t see each other days ago.
• “So…where have you been?” She asked me.
• I shrugged as I placed the menu down and calling the waiter. “I looked for places to work,” I replied and the waited came in, exactly. I placed in my orders.
• “Really? Where did you go?” she asked.
• Martin looked at me and smiled weakly. I’ve known him since high school. “You should try Nildex,” he suggested.
• Janice and I looked at each other.
• Martin blinked. “What? Why? Is there something wrong with Nildex?” he asked.
• Janice glared at him. “Martin! Nildex is Kai’s company, remember?!” she hissed while pinching her boyfriend’s side.
• Martin’s eyes widened. “Shit! Sorry. I totally forgot about that.” He pouted.
• I smiled. “It’s okay. I went there yesterday,” I told them.
• Their eyes widened.
• “Really?” Janice asked. “What happened? Did you see him again?”
• I nodded. “He’s one of those people who interviewed me,” I replied. “It’s nothing really.” I smiled weakly.
• Janice narrowed her eyes at me. “Ashley told me that he took you home early the night we went to the bar,” she stated. “Did something happen?” she asked curious and worried at the same time.
• I shook my head. “He just drove me home,” I replied.
• She continued to stare at me, totally not believing what I said. But I am. Nothing really happened.
• “Yesterday, too. I just apologized for leaving him.” I said and Janice gasped.
• “It wasn’t good, was it?”
• I smiled. “It wasn’t as bad as I expected it to be…” I shrugged. “I also saw him with his girlfriend,” I added.
• I don’t know why I need to tell them that. I just thought I needed to let it out. I thought I needed to have someone to know what I saw.
• Their faces turned more serious. Then I wonder, did they know about it? Did they know about Kai having someone else after me? If they did, why didn’t they tell me?
• But what could that information have done for me? Would I have loved him less? I don’t think so.
• “Rachel Grey,” Martin stated.
• I looked at him. They knew. “So that’s her name?” I asked. “It’s as pretty as her.” I forced a smile.
• I know how bitter I sounded but I couldn’t help myself. I can’t pretend I am fine—at least not in front of my friends. They’re they only ones who knew my life story. I don’t need to hide anything from them.
• “Eunique…” Janice’s voice trailed. “We thought you didn’t have to know it. We wanted you to move on—” Her words were cut when the bells in the entrance rang.
• Our eyes widened when we saw Kaisser Bennett with his cousins and his girlfriend walking inside the restaurant. Still, Rachel Grey looks so fabulous. Have I even ever looked like that?
• Paulo was laughing with Miguel while Kai was whispering something to his girl.
• My heart clenched at the scene. Hearing him scream, get mad and frustrated at me hurts me. Seeing him tear and break down because of me makes me want to hurt myself. But seeing him with another woman? It makes me want to kill myself. It makes me want to die.
• There’s no pain that could surpass this pain I am feeling right now.
• “Holy fuck…” Martin muttered under his breath.
• I don’t know why I can’t keep my gaze off of them. I am dying inside and I have the choice to look away but I refuse to.
• “You better not be accepted in his company.” Janice spoke. “Damn it, Eunique! Stop staring!”
• I know! I need to stop staring! I need to even stop feeling! But how do I stop a feeling I can’t even control? If I could only tell myself to stop loving him, I would’ve done it by now! But I can’t! And that’s what makes me feel so bad!
• And the worst thing is, I can’t be mad. I don’t have the right to be angry about all of this. This is my fault. I left him without a word. And now, he’s found someone else.
• Rachel Grey placed her hand on Kai’s thigh the moment they sat on their table. And Kaisser Bennett isn’t doing anything about it. Fuck!
• “Excuse me…” I told them and went to the comfort room to manage myself.
• This is all my fault. I don’t have the right to get mad or jealous or disappointed because reality-check?! I am the one who left without a note. If anything, I don’t have anyone else to blame but myself. If I hadn’t left without a word, maybe I could’ve saved the relationship.
• I washed my face several times before putting on light powder and lip tint. No one could see how depressed I am when I am in a public place—especially when I am in one place with Kaisser Bennett. I don’t want him to see how broken I am because I don’t want him feeling sympathy for me. I don’t want his pity. I want his love. I want to be his only love. But I guess it’s impossible right now.
• I was about to go back to our table when I saw Kaisser Bennett leaning on the wall in front of the lady’s rest room’s door. He’s wearing a dark blue button down shirt with the sleeves folded until his elbows.
• I paused for a second before deciding to just pass by him without a word or another glance.
• “Where did you go all day?” he asked with his usual authoritative voice.
• I stopped and looked at him. He’s staring back at me with those same pair of angry eyes. “Looked for work,” I replied nonchalantly.
• He narrowed his eyes at me as he clenched his jaw. “Why?” he asked me. “Was Nildex not good enough for a New York University graduate?”
• My eyes widened at his question.
• “Do you really need a welcome party? Fine. Welcome to my company, Miss Eunique James. You may start tomorrow.”