Chapter 6

• CRY
• Kaisser took a very deep breath when he released me from his arms. I immediately felt the emptiness in my heart. I never thought I would be this empty.
• He looked at me as he took something out of his pocket. “Here. Wipe you own tears,” he said in a very cold tone as he handed me a handkerchief.
• I looked at it and shook my head. “No, Kai. You need to hear me out first.” I wanted this to end. I’m going to tell him everything now. I want all of this to stop. If he hears my explanation and still decides to leave me, I won’t blame him.
• He looked at me and pursed his lips in a thin line.
• I wiped my tears with my palm and swallowed the lump in my throat. “It’s my parents,” I started and snorted. “They wanted me to finish my studies abroad for better chances of getting the best job in the future.” I looked at him and his eyes are on me, waiting for me to continue with my story.
• I exhaled. “At first, I didn’t want to…I don’t want to leave you. But they pressured me every day. They said I needed to go if I didn’t want to get disowned.” I sobbed. “My parents wanted me to be the best because I am the first-born. They wanted me to bring in lots of money for our family—”
• “Let’s just jump to the part where you left me,” he interrupted me. “Why did you just leave me without a word then? I would’ve done something about it! I would’ve done something about us!”
• “I’m sorry!” I cried because that’s all I think I can ever do. I cannot bring the past back. If he would only let me, I could fix our present for our future.
• He pursed his lips in a thin line. “You’re always sorry, Eunique,” he told me in the coldest tone I have ever heard. “What are you really sorry about? The ruined relationship? The pain I went through? What, Eunique? What are you sorry for?”
• I shut my eyes and wiped my tears. “Everything. I’m sorry for everything I have caused—our relationship, the pain you went through and all those many other things I have done.” I sobbed. “I want you to know that I didn’t want to leave you. I love you so much—”
• “Then why did you leave?! If you loved me so much, how could you leave me without a word?! Huh, Eunique? Why did you just leave me alone without thinking about what hell I will go through when you’re gone?!” He’s hysterical. He’s shouting and is in pain.
• Frustration flashed through his eyes. And hatred. And anger. And I wanted to wipe them all away and change them back to the way he looks at me four years ago.
• “It was the only way—”
• “Oh, goddamn it, Eunique! You could have asked me to help! You didn’t even bother asking me if I wanted to have a long-distance relationship!”
• “I know you didn’t want one!”
• “Still you should have asked!” he yelled. “I loved you. You were the only person I see. I took very good care of you. Even when we did it, I tried my best to not hurt you!” He washed his palms over his face. “Eunique, where did my decision lie? Where was my decision in our relationship?”
• I bit my lip and looked down. I know where he’s coming from. He could yell at me all he wants. I’m not going to answer back. I’m not going to talk back because I know that I deserve every single word he is throwing at me. All these accusations and blames, I deserve every single one of them.
• “You think if you told me that you’ll leave, I won’t let you?” he asked, reeking of disappointment. “Eunique, I admit I won’t like it at first but I would never ever do something against your decision…even if it would hurt me so fucking much!”
• I cried and all these realizations rushed through me. He’s right. I should’ve given him the chance to decide for us. If I wasn’t so scared enough to even bring up the topic in front of him before, we could have prevented all these heartaches to happen.
• “Do you know what killed me?” He asked. “It’s when I knew where you went and I can fly to you in an instant but I was too scared to see you happy while I am devastated. I wanted to follow you. I tried to follow you but my fear was bigger than my courage. I couldn’t. My pride wouldn’t let me. You left me without a word. Maybe you really wanted me gone in your life.” He shook his head as I saw tears in his eyes.
• I reached out to him but he stepped back.
• “Did you really want me gone in your life?” he asked in a pained tone.
• I shook my head. “No, Kai. I don’t want you gone in my life. If anything, I want you in my life,” I told him, not minding how desperate I sounded. I want him back so bad that I would do anything and everything to be with him again.
• He shook his head. It pains me even more now that I see him crying. He’s breaking down in front of me and I don’t like how his walls are crashing down.
• “I can forgive you, Eunique,” he said, in a calmer way and tone. A slight leap of hope rushed through me. “I can forgive but I can’t act like nothing happened.”
• I bit my lip and nodded. “I didn’t expect you to welcome me back with open arms.” I breathed and smiled at him. “Thank you for listening to my explanations that may sound as excuses.”
• He stared at me with a blank expression in his eyes. I want to know what he’s thinking. I want to know what his thoughts are.
• I smiled weakly and took a deep breath. “Thanks for even forgiving me after all those hateful things that I have done.” I looked at him. “I’m sorry for barging inside your company. I know you don’t want to see me anymore.”
• His gaze at me softened as his jaw clenched.
• “I just want you to hear my side.” I smiled. This is right, Eunique. You are doing what is right. “And I also want to ask if you took my car from the club last night. I need it so I could apply to other companies,” I explained.
• He clucked his tongue and clenched his jaw. “It’s in my condo. But I’ll have your car brought here,” he said.
• “No need. You can just give me the keys and I can ride a cab to your building—”
• “I said I’ll have it brought here. You just need to wait for less than thirty minutes.” He cut me off.
• I bit my lip and nodded. I don’t want to argue with him. Ever. Because I feel like I don’t have the right to. “I’ll just go to the cafeteria then, if you need to tell your assistant where I am.” I smiled and slightly bowed before walking away without even waiting for him to respond.
• I walked straight to the comfort room to fix myself. I know I look like a mess. I’m a hungry, pained zombie that can never be fixed.
• I tried to fix myself and look a little more appealing before going to the cafeteria. But really, my puffy, swollen eyes couldn’t be hidden in a touch of a concealer. Nothing can really fix a broken heart.
• I walked into the company cafeteria and saw some employees chatting with each other.
• “Good morning, Ma’am!” Oh! There’s actually a receiving officer inside this company cafeteria?
• I smiled. I’m very impressed.
• “Are you searching for someone?” she asked.
• I shook my head. “I’m just here to eat and wait for something,” I replied.
• She smiled back. “Sure, ma’am. Let me find a good table for you,” she said as she walked me to the best table in the whole cafeteria, indeed. “Here’s the menu, Ma’am.” She handed me a huge cardboard where the menu is written.
• I smiled and chose from the foods in the menu.
• “One mocha frappe and an order of lasagna, please,” I told her and handed her the menu.
• She smiled at me and noted my order down before telling me to wait for about ten minutes. I didn’t protest at the length of my waiting time because my eyes are already darted in the entrance of the cafeteria.
• There is this elegant–looking lady with a tight black dress and long brown curls. She’s smiling at everyone in the cafeteria like she knows everyone. The employees bow at her.
• Is she a boss around here? A manager, maybe?
• “Ms. Grey is really pretty, don’t you think?” I heard one of the women behind me say.
• “Yes. She really looks good with Mr. Bennett!”
• I suddenly narrowed my eyes at the comment. Mr. Bennett? Mr. Bennett who? Kaisser Bennett? Paulo? Miguel? Who?!
• One giggled. “Did you see her posts about their adventures in Maldives last summer? Epic! Kaisser Bennett is a god!” She squealed silently.
• There was a constricting force in my heart when I heard Kai’s name. That idea never crossed my mind—that he would have someone after me. I was imagining him mad at me but never had someone to replace me.
• I was the only one.
• He cried in front of me a while ago. Doesn’t that mean anything? Doesn’t that mean I’m still the one for him? Doesn’t that mean he still loves me?
• “Mr. Bennett seemed to be so in love with her, don’t you think?”
• It’s like a bucket of cold water was poured onto me. He seems to be so in love with her? How is that going to happen? He loves me. He still loves me.
• Not so long after, I saw Kaisser Bennett coming inside the cafeteria. He was searching through the crowd and finally stopped when he saw her. He walked towards her and hugged her tight. The ladies behind me were giggling in excitement.
• I swallowed at the scene. I am not prepared to see this.
• He sat beside that certain Ms. Grey and pulled her closer to him and I decided to look away.
• Was I too late?
• A thin lady walked to me with a smile. “Ms. James?” She asked and I nodded. “Here’re your car keys. Your car is ready in the entrance,” she informed me.
• I took my keys and nodded. I left a certain huge amount of bill on the table. Damn it! I want to cry!