Chapter 68

• DANZEL POV:
• I stood there for a while, thinking about life. I laughed at myself; I really don't have a life. I never had before she came along. And now that she's gone, it is hell. Living life is hell. Those few months after her death, I had completely lost my mind. I let myself drown in her thoughts, in her smile and alcohol helped me a lot. At first, the bar in my mansion was the only place one could find me at any time of the day, but after Yara and Philip decided to keep me away from it, I decided to go to local bars, hell I remember taking membership of the club so they could give me unlimited drinks. I would drink and drink and drink until there was nothing left inside me until the alcohol would fill my grief and pain. Sometimes, I would get up with a massive headache and realize I blacked out inside the club, or sometimes, someone would take me back to the mansion. After a couple of days, I figured it was the guys.
• My father, Yara, Susan, and everyone tried to make me understand but I couldn't just get a grip on myself. Never had I ever felt something so strong, so intense. The grief, the pain, the heartache, it was too much for me. my sober mind couldn't bear the thought of Angelina not being around me, that I could never kiss her anymore, I couldn't even say I love you anymore, that she is never going to come back to me, scared me. It scared the shit out of me and so drinking and drowning in alcohol was the only escape I found. It did continue even after I was admitted for excessive alcohol on my empty stomach. They had found me in my bedroom floor and had immediately rushed me to the hospital. The f*cking doctor scared Yara by telling her that I might have died or even die if I continue the consumption of more alcohol, which in fact did stop me until I was released. Yara couldn't stop me, she tried to talk to me and even gave me the mother glare but I didn't listen. But one day, I got up in a completely different room and then realized that I had too many drinks and hooked up with someone, I froze. I didn't know why, but I felt like I had cheated on my love. That somehow, I couldn't handle a few drinks, couldn't keep my dick in my pants. The guilt made me stumble out of the room in hurry. Poor Creed and Philip had been searching for me the entire night. I felt bad. And then I slowed down my drinking thing. But last night, I had to.